Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is widely acknowledged that parents play a crucial role in children's development. While some people are of the view that children should be motivated by their parents to participate in organized team activities, others argue that they should be given freedom to select what they want. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe a balanced approach should be taken.

On the one hand, the main advantage from group activities is improved collaboration. If children participate in group activities, they develop sense of team work from at young age. For instance, research has shown that, children who participate in organized activity are more likely to be flexible in their adulthood. Another advantage is that children spend less time using electronic devices because whenever they are given with choice, they are more likely to play mobile games. Hence, it is crucial for parents to encourage their toddlers to participate in arranged activity.

On the other hand, giving choice to children can help to know their area of interest. If any instruction is not given, they will start activity in their interested area. To illustrate, if child is choosing to play cricket. Parents should take it a positive way and enroll them in coaching academy. Furthermore, they will have a sense of freedom. By forcing them into activities, they will participate without taking interest. To illustrate, when parents force them to read storybooks. They will read it but will not show any interest in it. Hence, balanced approach should be taken to carryout the best result.

To sum up, although organized activities help in children's development to some extent, in my opinion, children should be given with list of suitable activities to choice and let them select rather than forcing them into an activity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of collaboration versus the importance of individual interest. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'electronic devices' is a bit abrupt and could have been better linked to the topic of organized activities. The conclusion is clear, but the supporting points in the body paragraphs could benefit from more depth and specific examples to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is fully addressed, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a band 6.5 or 7.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To illustrate', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the sentence 'If any instruction is not given, they will start activity in their interested area.' Despite these minor flaws, the paragraphing is appropriate and the overall structure is coherent.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'crucial role', 'widely acknowledged', and 'organized team activities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as 'given with choice' (should be 'given a choice') and 'carryout the best result' (should be 'achieve the best results'). There is also some repetition of basic words like 'activity' and 'interest'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and ensure collocations are used precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('develop sense of team work', 'at young age') and prepositions ('given with choice'). Some sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation, such as 'To illustrate, when parents force them to read storybooks. They will read it...'. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on article usage and sentence combining would significantly improve your accuracy.

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