Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Yes i am totally agree with this statement . Because parents want children participating organisms group activities. Because as a parent he don’t want her daughter and son playing games on cellphones or computers . He wants he attending some sports events or educational events And learn something. It’s my opinion as a father I want my children’s playing good any one game like ice hockey . Bacause i am also love ice hockey I know rules. So I want all parents must going and registered her children’s any kind of organization group . And
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 95 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you attempt to state an opinion, the essay lacks a balanced discussion of both views as required by the prompt. The ideas are underdeveloped, consisting of personal anecdotes rather than a structured argument. To improve, you must ensure you address all parts of the prompt (both views and your own opinion) and expand your points with clear explanations and examples to meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks paragraphing and a logical structure. Ideas are presented in a fragmented manner, and there is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences together. The repetition of 'Because' at the beginning of sentences makes the flow mechanical and difficult to follow. To improve, you should organize your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for each view), and a conclusion. Use transition words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'consequently' to connect your ideas logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'participating organisms group activities' (likely meant 'organized') and 'registered her children's' (should be 'register their children in'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient for a task of this nature. You should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to child development, education, and leisure activities to improve your range and precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('he don’t want', 'I am also love'), incorrect pronoun usage ('her daughter and son'), and sentence fragments. The sentence structures are simple and repetitive, lacking the variety required for higher bands. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence has a clear subject and verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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