Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some argue that during leisure time, offspring should participate in organized group activities that are encouraged by their guardians, while others believe that toddlers should learn where they can utilize their time on their own. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following paragraph.

To begin with, the fundamental reason behind encouraging children to utilize their time is to participate in group activities, such as painting, group discussion, or debates, which can be beneficial for them for early mental development. When they discuss their questions in the group, they will learn for themselves what is right and wrong. For example, according to research from the University of Oxford, about 78% of children learn from group activities. Thus, parents should encourage them to do these kinds of activities.

On the other hand, a prominent reason for children to learn by themselves to utilize their time is that they can build their learning power and use their brains for deep thinking. If children learn how to occupy themselves, they can achieve their goals easily and never get bored with anything. For instance, according to research from the University of Bengaluru, about 45% of pupils use their time to develop their learning power by themselves.

In conclusion, It argued that parents should encourage their offspring to participate in group activities because they can learn many things from others for their career and future development, while it is also important for them to utilize their time by themselves for their own learning power. According to me, it is beneficial for children to learn by themselves and sometimes join in group activities to ask.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The arguments provided, such as 'learning power' and 'deep thinking', are repetitive and lack depth. The examples cited (e.g., '78% of children') appear fabricated and do not add genuine analytical weight to the discussion. To reach a higher band, you should focus on explaining the 'why' and 'how' behind your arguments rather than relying on generic statistics. Your position is clear in the conclusion, but it could have been more explicitly stated in the introduction to guide the reader better.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition between the topic sentence and the supporting example in the second paragraph feels abrupt. Additionally, the final sentence of the conclusion is grammatically awkward and lacks a smooth connection to the preceding points. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fundamental', 'prominent', and 'participate'. However, there are issues with word choice and collocation. Using 'offspring' to refer to children in a general context is slightly unnatural; 'children' or 'youngsters' would be more appropriate. The phrase 'utilize their time on their own' is repeated frequently, suggesting a limited range of expression. Furthermore, the phrase 'according to me' is non-standard; 'in my opinion' or 'from my perspective' are better alternatives. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, 'It argued that parents should encourage...' is missing the passive auxiliary 'is'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases, such as 'learn for themselves what is right and wrong' and 'join in group activities to ask'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice constructions, as well as ensuring that your complex sentences are punctuated correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.