Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is an undeniable fact that in this era, technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds in each and every field. Nowadays, few individuals say that mother and father should encourage their toddler to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Some say that it is important for toddler to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. In this piece of writing I will shed light on its both these views in my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with the abundant reasons that's why organised group activities. first of all, all parents have a duty, when their children growing up they making a good plan everyday for children and playing with game and doing some activities. All parents are very good friend of their children and making a good friend and good study. Every time teach to children do not get bad addicted bad manners and drugs. So that every time to help their toddler and spend the time with children. This is very big duty for their children every parents.
On the other hand, in this era all parents were very busy they have no time give their children. They think when their children 14 year above they get alone and they say this is machour they earn money and enjoy their life alone and doing some acitivites alone. Some parents are do not help their children. For example, last years the government was conducted by survey in bombay 50% people are very busy they have not time to give their children
To conclude, although there are both these views are very important, yet first views can never be overlooked.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the prompt, but the development of ideas is limited and often unclear. The arguments regarding group activities are repetitive and lack specific, logical support. The second paragraph, which should discuss the benefits of children occupying themselves, is confusingly written, focusing more on parents being busy rather than the developmental value of independent play. The position is stated in the introduction but is not clearly maintained or supported throughout the body paragraphs. To improve, you should focus on providing distinct, well-reasoned arguments for each perspective and ensure your examples directly support your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the internal structure is weak. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and often incorrect way, such as 'To commence with the abundant reasons that's why'. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the sentences often lack logical connection. Referencing is also problematic; for example, the use of 'first views' and 'both these views' in the conclusion is vague. You need to use a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one to improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds' (which is a cliché and not entirely relevant to the topic) and 'toddler' used to refer to older children. Phrases like 'making a good friend and good study' are unclear and do not convey the intended meaning. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to child development and parenting, and avoid overusing simple, repetitive words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'all parents were very busy they have no time'), sentence fragments, and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'the government was conducted by survey'). The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors in basic syntax. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a correctly conjugated verb, and work on reducing errors in pluralization and tense consistency.
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