Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate weather children should encourage for doing outdoor activities while others believe that children can engage themselves by their own activities. From I perspective engaging with any organized group is better for children mental growth.

The first reason is , any kind of child organization actually designed for children growth. The instructors are experienced for handling and controlling children. The institutions are very helpful for teach any kind of activities very well. For instance ,children can experience new environment and get chance to make new friend . Child development doctor are also prescribe many antijam child to involved outdoor activities un der a good organization .

On the other hand , there are also some disadvantages like many instructors do not give much attention to the kids. as a result many accident happen. For example, swimming is a very good outdoor activity for kids. But when children do this instructor should take extra care for kids. neither a big accident can occur. This type of accident happen nowadays frequently when we read newspaper or watch tv. For instance some child child fight each other when they do any activity and one of them lose. It affects child mental growth and this type of action has a bad effect in future .

In conclusion, I believe that although organized group activities has some disadvantages but it has a huge great impact on childs growth in physically and mentally. The advantages are outweigh the disadvantages and every parents should encourage their child for attending this type of activities.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding the disadvantages of organized activities is repetitive and lacks specific, well-explained examples. The mention of 'child development doctor' and 'antijam' is unclear and does not effectively support the argument. While the position is consistent, the supporting points need more depth and logical progression to reach a higher band. The conclusion summarizes the stance well, but the overall development remains limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'The first reason is ,' and 'On the other hand ,' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the transition between the benefits of instructors and the mention of doctors feels disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by the lack of smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'weather' instead of 'whether', 'antijam' (which is unclear), and 'un der' (spelling error). The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles with collocations, such as 'child development doctor' instead of 'child development experts' or 'pediatricians'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of range and the frequent errors in word formation and spelling prevent the response from achieving a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('child development doctor are also prescribe'), article usage, and sentence structure ('neither a big accident can occur'). Punctuation is also problematic, with unnecessary spaces before commas and inconsistent capitalization. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are often faulty. The control of grammar is weak, and errors are present in almost every sentence, which significantly affects the overall quality of the writing.

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