Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals hold this perception that children should be encouraged by their parents to participate in group activities like football clubs. However, other components deem that younger should find their own ways to get involve in these activities. This essay would throw some light on both the aspects prior to embarking my own view.

One one hand, the usage of electronic gadgets is increasing day by day among children. They spend a lot of time on scrolling screens of different gadgets. Parents should encourage and help them to participate in group activities. For instance, if a child is shy and avoid to go out for playing, his parents can help him by enrolling in a soccer club. As a result, it will help him to communicate with his peers and he can become more confident in his life. Moreover, parents should give memberships as a reward to their children instead of electronic children which can be helpful for them to become healthy.

On the other hand, I am compelled to plays the devils advocate too, youngers can become weak in making decisions if their parents always help them in tuff situations. So they should have freedom to find their own pathways. during this they can learn in which outdoor activity they are interested. Like a child likes to play basketball and he finds a club by his efforts. He will work harder to become good player and can get more success in his life.

In conclusion, although, children can become more confident if they find and participates clubs by their own way. I believe that parents encourage them for outdoor activities and offer them rewards so they spend more time in these activities instead indoor games.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding children finding their own pathways is a good point, but it lacks specific, well-developed examples to illustrate the long-term benefits of autonomy. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it suggests children should find clubs 'by their own way' while simultaneously stating parents should encourage them, which creates some confusion regarding your final stance. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear, distinct argument supported by a concrete example that directly relates to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, some transitions feel mechanical or are used incorrectly, such as 'One one hand' (a typo) and 'during this they can learn'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between 'electronic children' and the previous argument is confusing. While the overall progression of ideas is coherent, the flow between sentences could be smoother through more varied and precise linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors. For example, 'other components' is used incorrectly to mean 'other people', and 'electronic children' is an illogical collocation. Phrases like 'throw some light on' and 'plays the devils advocate' are used, but they are not always integrated naturally into the context. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive or misused vocabulary. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific academic vocabulary would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Some individuals hold this perception that...' (awkward phrasing), 'younger should find' (missing noun), 'avoid to go out' (incorrect verb pattern), and 'participates clubs' (missing preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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