Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Group activities helps children to increase knowledge and make memories with their friends. Some people say that parents should encourage their children , other say that is is important to learn how to make decision by their own. In this essay I would not only discuss about both views but also my opinion would be illustrated before drawing logical conclusion.
On one hand, some people say that parents should encourage their children to participate in group activity. Because, children do their activities as their parents told them to do. Many children are depended on their parents opinion so they always want to get permission and opinion of their parents. Parents have responsibility to make their children happy and social. Spending time with other members of their group children will learn how to work in team and how to get socially good with other children. This group activities help children to gain knowledge and teach them about discipline.
On the other hand, some people say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Because, it is important for children to able to make their decisions by their own. In their life there will be many situations in which they have to decide everything by their own if children are depended on their parents have to face many problems in their life. If children learn how to occupy on themselves this will make them feel freedom and responsible for what they do.
In conclusion ,although children should be encouraged by their parents yet in my opinion it is important for children to make their decisions by their own.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the points regarding 'discipline' and 'social skills' are mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples or deeper analysis. The introduction is a bit repetitive in its phrasing, and the conclusion could be more integrated with the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples for each viewpoint, ensuring that the arguments are fully extended rather than just stated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the two body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Because'). Some sentences feel disjointed, and the transition between ideas could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this', 'these') is used more precisely would enhance the flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic vocabulary. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'get socially good' and 'occupy on themselves'. To improve, you should try to incorporate a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary and more sophisticated collocations. Using more precise synonyms for common words will help demonstrate a greater control over your lexical choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Group activities helps', 'children is depended') and preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, such as the spacing around commas. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain errors that slightly impede the flow. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, such as ensuring verbs agree with their subjects and using articles correctly, will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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