Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some argue that children should be motivated by family to engage in organized group activities, whereas others believe that children should be free to spend their time as they want. I think that joining groups activities may help in social development, while choosing time for themselves may make children independent.

On the one hand, being part in organized group activities can help children to become more socializing. When children play games and participate in any activity, they meet with different people where they develop their communication skills and get connected with other children who are from different culture. As a result, it develops a social development for children. For example, in Canada, parents encourage their children to enjoy groups activities on weekends so that their physical strength can be improved and socialized with neighborhood. However, I believe that getting socialized with neighbor is important for relationships but children should have rights to spend as they want.

On the other hand, children should spend their time according to their choice because it makes them independent. when excessive control exerted on children, it may lead to damage the relationships with parents. Therefore, children should be allowed to enjoy their free time as they wish. For example, in India, many children spend their free time to read various novels and articles, which increase in their general knowledge. Therefore, I say that independence is crucial for everyone because people do not feel under pressure and spend their free time according to their choice.

In conclusion, although taking part in group activities can develop their physical growth and become more socialized with neighbor, self independence bring a comfort and tension free lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding independence is supported by the example of reading in India, but the link between reading and independence is not fully explained. The essay covers all parts of the prompt, but some points, such as the negative impact of parental control, are mentioned briefly without sufficient elaboration. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your supporting points with more detailed explanations or logical consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. For example, the transition 'Therefore' is used frequently in the second body paragraph. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'it develops a social development', where the pronoun 'it' does not clearly refer back to a specific noun. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear pronoun reference would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common collocations, such as 'tension free lifestyle' and 'social development'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'being part in' (instead of 'taking part in'), 'become more socializing' (instead of 'become more sociable'), and 'getting socialized with neighbor' (instead of 'socializing with neighbors'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the language. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and articles. Examples include 'children should have rights to spend as they want' (missing 'their time'), 'when excessive control exerted on children' (missing 'is'), and 'it may lead to damage the relationships' (should be 'lead to damaging'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of these grammatical slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of gerunds after prepositions will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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