Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, there is a recent debate going on between people with two different opinions. Whether to encourage their children to participate in group activities or teach them to spend time by own. The main negative would be slow progression of children as they require mentors such as parents and teachers in early age. While the key advantage for group activities would be participation in team building exercise and rapid development.

When we encourage children to learn how to occupy themselves by own, it slow downs the mental progression. Children feel confused and could not seek guidance from mentors such as parents or teachers. They become more shy and resistant to asking questions. The recent study published by the Oxford University stats that they observed a significant difference in children’s behaviour when they have to work with others. As they are not trained to work with others in groups, it shows major impact when they have to work in groups in high school or university. They could not process the inputs and feedback from other children.

On the other hand, children who are occupied with team activities such as swimming class, football coaching and much more, have shown increased signs of learning more quickly. They can communicate, understand and act based on different input and feedback. These are the fundamental traits to have to be succesful in education and professional life. As a result, team building activities enhances concentration level, critical thinking and communication skills. Because of these advantages, I personally agree with this proposal.

To conclude, in this period of modernity, encouraging children to participate in group activities have considerable advantage over the other. I believe that aforementioned points are strongly supporting my view point.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The discussion on children occupying themselves is framed almost entirely as a negative, which limits the depth of the argument regarding the benefits of independent play. The prompt asks to discuss both views, but the second view is not explored for its potential merits, such as fostering creativity or self-reliance. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more balanced and nuanced to reach a higher band. The conclusion is brief but effectively restates the position.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand' and 'As a result', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the pronoun 'they' is used repeatedly without a clear antecedent in the previous sentence. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the flow between sentences could be improved to create a more natural progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'fundamental traits' and 'modernity'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'spend time by own' (should be 'on their own') and 'slow downs the mental progression' (should be 'slows down'). The repetition of 'work with others' and 'group activities' suggests a limited range of synonyms. While the meaning is always clear, the lack of precision and occasional collocation errors prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'team building activities enhances' (should be 'enhance') and 'stats that they observed' (should be 'states that they observed'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward sentence fragments, such as 'Whether to encourage their children...'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.