Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today it is difficult for children to decide weather playing in group or themselves during leisure time. Some parents encourage their children to take part in organised group activities, while other believe occupy themselves is beneficial for their children's development. This essay will discuss the both views before a reasoned conclusion drawn.

Focusing on the former view, the prime argument is organised group activities helps children to learn different skills such as how to communicate with others, teamwork and coordination. As children understand other people and improve their personality. For instance, children can make new friends with same hobby and skills, also it helps them to make a strong bond with each other. Furthermore, group activity encourage children to play outdoor games and become a stay and fit.

However, proponent of the latter view have their own claims. To begin with, children can occupy themselves with various activities assist them to develop important brain skills. For example, parents assign couple of tasks including drawing, puzzle and fun activity games to their children to occupy themselves. As a result, they can become an intelligent students or person and complete their task withing time. Additionally, children can not only learn bad words but also behavior to play with others.

To conclude and offer my position, I support the former view than the latter view because organised group activities offer more benefits to improve children's future in various way. Additionally, group activities helps children to make new friends and strong bond with each other.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention benefits like 'communication' and 'brain skills', the supporting arguments are brief and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the point about making friends is repeated in the conclusion. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation or a more specific, illustrative example to fully support your claims. The essay meets the requirements of the prompt, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a band 6 level, as some points remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Focusing on the former view', 'However', and 'To conclude'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'This essay will discuss the both views before a reasoned conclusion drawn', which is grammatically awkward. Additionally, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'the latter view') is used more naturally would help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'proponent', 'coordination', and 'development'. However, there are several instances of word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'become a stay and fit' instead of 'stay fit' or 'remain healthy', and 'intelligent students or person'. Some phrasing is also repetitive, particularly the use of 'occupy themselves'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic or topic-specific terms would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'decide weather playing' (should be 'whether to play'), 'organised group activities helps' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'complete their task withing time' (spelling/preposition error). While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement, correct word forms, and spelling to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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