Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are two different aspects mentioned above,some people say that parents should encourage their children to participate in organized group activities in their free time to discover their selves.

The children will go to the groups,different mindsets would be there,they will exchange their thoughts and perceptions on something and involved in activities going on.In this scenario, the positive fact is exchange of knowledge ,ideas and experiences.It is like of a person learns from others experiences will never fail.

Groups are organized and well disciplined,they teach them how to act in a society and social norms.They are best source of making a social life.

On the other hand it’s important for children to learn how to occupy on their own;

This aspect is so deeply embedded.In this scenario personal space is the key.The child who is free to occupy,free to do anything, free to make choices in future holds a different view of life.He learns from his mistakes and never makes them again.He explores each experience on his own and becomes stronger.

He naturally adopts his ways and becomes comfortable in life.While on the other hand the children who are following each others I think they are putting themselves in a box and limiting it.

So in my opinion we should let the children allow to choose their paths because they only can do best care of their interest.Pushing them to do something will make very less impact on them but the things they will do on their own will make them self conscious.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefits of group activities (social norms, exchange of ideas) and independent play (personal space, learning from mistakes), the points are presented in a list-like fashion rather than being fully extended with concrete examples. To improve, ensure each main point is supported by a specific illustration or a more detailed explanation of the 'why' and 'how'. The conclusion is present but could be more robust to better summarize the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and sometimes mechanical. For instance, the transition between the two viewpoints is abrupt. There is a lack of varied linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to connect sentences and ideas smoothly. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack clear logical flow, such as 'It is like of a person learns from others experiences will never fail.' Improving the variety and accuracy of your transition words will significantly enhance the logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on simple phrasing, such as 'positive fact' and 'best source'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'discover their selves' (should be 'discover themselves') and 'occupy on their own' (should be 'occupy themselves'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to child development and social interaction, and ensure that your word choices are natural and contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles, incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'let the children allow to choose'), and punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas. The sentence 'While on the other hand the children who are following each others I think they are putting themselves in a box' is grammatically convoluted. Focusing on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and consistent punctuation will help improve your accuracy and readability.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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