Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People nowadays have different opinion for children activity time some think they should themselves know what to do in their free time some say they should go out to do some physical activity this essay with discuss both the things in forth coming paragraph.

To commence with the merits i think going outside and playing with others make them learn about how others think so they know others opinion and physical activity is in general very important for children playing outside makes their brain and body both strong, for instance my cousin use to go out and play with other kids that how he started to speak fast and learn communication skills physically he became fit. as a result playing outside makes kid learn a lot and keeps them fit.

Further shifting towards. demerits for kids seating at home will not going to make them learn how to be productive they will just learn how to kill the time which is two opposite things, children mind need to breather fresh air and learn new things everyday but seating at home just going to do nothing but opposite of it, To cite an example, i use to seat at home for a very long period of my childhood but now when i have grown up i have realised how much as a child i have missed on things which kids of my age enjoyed. thus, this makes kids life less lively.

In conclusion, my opinion would be to keep children active in outdoor activites which keeps their mind fresh to learn new things daily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide personal anecdotes, the discussion of why children should learn to occupy themselves on their own is underdeveloped and slightly confused in the third paragraph. The prompt asks to discuss both views, but the focus remains heavily on the benefits of outdoor activities rather than a balanced exploration of the value of independent play. To improve, ensure each viewpoint is given equal weight and supported with more analytical reasoning rather than just personal experience.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the flow between and within paragraphs is often mechanical or disjointed. Transitions like 'To commence with' and 'Further shifting towards' are used, but they feel forced and do not always lead logically into the next point. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences smoothly, making the progression of ideas feel repetitive. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the connection between 'killing time' and the prompt's requirement is not fully articulated.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive. You rely on simple phrases such as 'do something', 'learn new things', and 'make them learn'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'seating at home' (should be 'staying at home') and 'children mind need to breather fresh air' (should be 'children's minds need to breathe'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to child development and social interaction, and work on using collocations more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('my cousin use to go'), punctuation (missing commas and run-on sentences), and article usage. The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when you attempt complex constructions. For example, 'People nowadays have different opinion for children activity time some think...' is a run-on sentence that lacks necessary punctuation. Focusing on sentence boundaries and basic verb tense consistency will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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