Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Undoubtedly, these days it is crucial for young people to take part in various day to day life activities. Few individuals say parents should give motivation to do so, and rest of the masses think they should figure out by their own. I believe that children can improve their personal skills through taking part in group activities, and build their confidence.

If children participate in various group activities, it helps to grow in their personal skills such as, verbal skills, physical stamina, and so on. This would mean that they can achieve whatever they want. In Japan, for example, parents encourage their children to involve in different games and take them in summer camp. As a result, children grow their personal skills, and do best in their study curriculum as well as in their life.

Moreover, they can build their confidence meeting new people. This not only helpful in their personal skills but also beneficial for their own life, because this is often said that it is very important for people to meet new people so that they can build their confidence. For instance, a stagring report suggest that those student participate in games often intelligent than who do not involve.

In my view, parent should encourage their children to take participate in various sports activities so that they can build their own personal growth, and it is also help to build their confidence. I also believe that they should make the most out of their age and make a better life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you mention group activities, you do not adequately address the second perspective—the importance of children learning to occupy themselves on their own. The essay focuses almost exclusively on the benefits of group activities. To achieve a higher band, you must provide a balanced discussion by exploring why some people value independent play (e.g., fostering creativity or problem-solving skills). The examples provided, such as the mention of Japan, are relevant but could be more deeply integrated into the argument to support your points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'For instance' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the two opposing views is abrupt. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'This not only helpful in their personal skills', where the pronoun 'this' lacks a precise antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the flow and logical progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'rest of the masses' and 'stagring report'. Additionally, there are some spelling errors, such as 'stagring' (staggering) and 'student' (students). To improve, try to use more precise collocations and avoid repetitive structures. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the overall range is limited, and the errors occasionally draw attention to the language rather than the content.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. For example, 'parents should give motivation to do so' is unnatural, and 'those student participate in games often intelligent than who do not involve' contains significant syntax and comparative errors. You also have issues with subject-verb agreement and missing articles. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic errors will be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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