Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A segment of society believe that its parents duty to motivate their kids to participate in organized group activities in their spare time. However, others counter that its vital for growing ups to understand how to occupy themselves on their own ability. This essay will examine both viewpoints before giving my own estimation.
On the one hand, proponents of group activities explain that its very important for parents to encourage their children because organized group activities teach kids how to work and cooperate in a group and not only this but also it can be very helpful to utilize their time as well as it develops a team-work thinking which can help to build a leadership and leading skills and personality. For instance, according a very well-known institute called Institute Of Children Welfare had published a detailed report mentioning that group activities indeed help children to learn team-work dynamics and problem-solving ability.
On the other hand, other considers of community believe that its vital for children to know and learn how to consume their spare time by themselves because it eliminates the problem of children relying on their parents which can slow their mental development and lead them to always looking for help. And if they learn it by themselves, they will be able counter and overcome any situation. Moreover this, it develops problem-solving mindset and able be face difficulties. For example, if children know to occupy themselves in their free time on their own, they might develop fast thinking ability as compared to others.
In conclusion, after briefly and thoroughly analyzing both viewpoints. I firmly believe that parents should encourage their children to participate in organized group activities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both viewpoints and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention benefits like 'team-work' and 'problem-solving', these points are not fully extended with detailed explanations or specific, personal examples. The reference to the 'Institute Of Children Welfare' is vague and lacks sufficient detail to be considered a strong supporting example. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a deeper analysis of the 'why' and 'how' behind your arguments, rather than just listing potential benefits. The conclusion is also quite brief and could have summarized the main points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is slightly hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'And if they learn it by themselves, they will be able counter and overcome any situation.' The use of referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother to create a more cohesive argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'occupy themselves' and 'problem-solving', and there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'growing ups' instead of 'children' or 'young people', and 'other considers of community' which is non-standard. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and avoid informal or imprecise expressions. Expanding your range of synonyms and using more academic vocabulary would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently omit necessary articles (e.g., 'its parents duty' should be 'it is the parents' duty') and struggle with subject-verb agreement and punctuation. For example, 'according a very well-known institute... had published' is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, there are several instances of missing apostrophes in contractions like 'its' instead of 'it's'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall clarity and professional tone of the essay. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.