Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A segment of society believes that it is parents' duty to motivate their kids to participate in organized group activities in their spare time. However, others counter that it is vital for children to understand how to occupy themselves on their own initiative. This essay will examine both viewpoints before giving my own opinion.
On the one hand, proponents of group activities explain that it is very important for parents to encourage their children because organized group activities teach kids how to work and cooperate in a group and not only this but also it can be very helpful to utilize their time as well as it develops a team-work thinking which can help to build a leadership and leading skills and personality. For instance, according to a very well-known institute called Institute Of Children Welfare had published a detailed report mentioning that group activities indeed help children to learn team-work dynamics and problem-solving ability.
On the other hand, other members of community believe that it is vital for children to know and learn how to consume their spare time by themselves because it eliminates the problem of children relying on their parents which can slow their mental development and lead them to always looking for help. And if they learn it by themselves, they will be able counter and overcome any situation. Moreover this, it develops problem-solving mindset and is able be face difficulties. For example, if children know to occupy themselves in their free time on their own, they might develop fast thinking ability as compared to others.
In conclusion, after briefly and thoroughly analyzing both viewpoints. I firmly believe that parents should encourage their children to participate in organized group activities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The arguments in the second body paragraph are repetitive, focusing heavily on 'problem-solving' and 'mental development' without exploring the nuance of independent play. The conclusion is also quite abrupt and lacks a summary of the main points discussed. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your examples and ensure that your supporting points are distinct rather than restating the same concepts in different words.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'Moreover', which help the flow. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the internal structure of the sentences is occasionally disjointed. For example, the sentence starting with 'And if they learn it...' is a weak way to begin a sentence. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proponents', 'dynamics', and 'initiative'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'leading skills' (leadership skills) and 'consume their spare time' (spend their spare time). Additionally, the phrasing 'very well-known institute' is slightly informal. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic or topic-specific terminology would help you move into the higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow. For instance, 'according to a very well-known institute... had published' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'an institute published'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and missing articles, such as 'is able be face difficulties'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.