Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some individuals argues that parents should motivate their children to participate more in the organised group activities in their leisure time. While some opine, they should be left on their own to learn how to occupy themselves. Although, encouraging pupils to participate in organised group activities may develop some social skills. In my opinion, leaving them on their own to figure themselves out has far more merits involved and in this essay, we will elaborate these both views.

To commence with, parents who encourage their children to take part in group activities may develop some crucial social skills. These skills can help them in their studies as it builds more confidence; however, it can also contribute towards their future goals as they acquire some problem solving skills by attending these groups. For instance, schools in Japan have mandatory classes which children have to attend in groups so their fear of social anxiety can be alleviated and can learn pressure handling situtations. Although participating in these group activities helps acquire necessary skills this may have some negative impact on the child’smind as it increases competition some might finds this significantly hard to cope with.

On the flip side, some individuals thinks children should be left on their own as they might have their own passion that they want to follow in their leisure time. To expound, some children have passion about sports and other might have passion about music or arts. Encoraging them to attend group activities may have their own advantages however, this can rendure with their own abilities to think out of the box for themselves. While some children like their independent thinking and taking part in group activities takes this away. To cite an example, in America parents leave their children to decide for themselves what they want to achieve or become in life rather than interupting their passion.

In conclusion, although encouraging children to participate in group activities can help them acquire necessary skills such as problem solving and pressure handling. However, this might take away their freedom and independence. In my opinion both are necessary to some extent but leaving them alone to figure out for themselves can have higher success later on in their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of social skills and independent thinking. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The example regarding Japan is a bit vague, and the argument about competition in group activities is introduced but not fully explored. The conclusion restates the position well, but the essay would benefit from more depth in the supporting arguments to reach a higher band. The position is consistent throughout the text.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'On the flip side', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as the use of 'Although' at the start of the third sentence, which creates a fragment rather than a complete thought. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to avoid a repetitive structure in the body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'alleviated', 'rendure' (which appears to be a misuse of 'hinder' or 'render'), and 'interupting'. Some word choices are slightly awkward or inaccurate, such as 'figure themselves out' or 'pressure handling situtations'. Spelling errors like 'interupting' and 'child’smind' (missing space) also occur. The range is sufficient to convey meaning but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Some individuals argues', 'some individuals thinks'), punctuation errors (missing commas after introductory phrases), and sentence fragments ('Although, encouraging pupils...'). While these errors do not prevent communication, they are persistent throughout the text. A greater focus on proofreading for basic agreement and sentence boundary errors would significantly improve the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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