Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this modern age competitive era more individuals prefer to remain isolated rather than going on outing with friends or in a society. Whether parents should encourage their young ones to attend community events or they should teach them to work on themself is a debatable issue. I will discuss both views along with my viewpoint on it in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with the former view, if a child involve in social events it can teach them how to deal with society or face the critics. It is to say that, there are both kind of people in society one should know that everyone will not support their thinking from early age as it is a crucial lesson for the life ahead. Secondly, It can prepare them for skills such as communication, team work and leadership as these all are important aspects for prospers career and life. For Instance, I started participating in events which were organized by my school from the age of 12 and then I became leader of the social club which helps in my overall development.

On the other hand, few parents are afraid because of bad influence on their child. In simple terms, an individual development depends on whether one choose a wise company or a bad one as it is very easy to get influence by wrong habits such as addiction to porn, smoking or drugs. Lastly, parents think that this will shift their child focus from study and interfere in their overall well being so they suggest them to keep themselves occupied rather than going to social gatherings.

To conclude, although there are risk for children to engage in social gathering, I believe the benefits such as developing communication and leadership skill outweigh them as it can be solved by better parenting and drawing boundaries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of social skills versus the risks of negative peer influence. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'bad influence' is mentioned, but the explanation remains quite general. To achieve a higher band, you should provide more detailed examples or deeper analysis of why these influences occur or how they specifically impact a child's development. The position is consistent throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions are slightly abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the connection between ideas could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall progression of the argument is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'competitive era', 'isolated', 'crucial lesson', and 'overall development'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'if a child involve' (should be 'involves') and 'prospers career' (should be 'prosperous career'). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'work on themself' or 'face the critics'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher band scores.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('if a child involve') and pluralization ('there are risk'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some minor errors with capitalization and comma usage. These errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and tense consistency would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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