Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals believe that parents should encourage their children to engage in organised group activities while they are free as it would remove their fear and help them build a good network from an early age. Whereas others believe that it's important to teach their children to occupy themselves on their own, as it would teach them a better way to manage their own time and help to learn new skills.

Firstly, many individuals including me, believe that parents should make their kids take part in organised group activities in their free time. This can help remove social anxiety from a child. Also, this openness towards the unknown can help a lot when the child grows up. Additionally, being a part of organised group activities creates a great group of friends which can be a base towards a good network.

Secondly, others believe that children should learn to occupy on themselves on their own. Occupying themselves on their own can help the children to learn new skills which are needed in this digital world. This can also help a child manage his/hers own time and not be bound to others. This can be a lot helpful to a family who is living a bit far from the town, where it's hard for a kid to go out.

To conclude, I personally and with some people, believe that a child should open himself to strangers by participating in group activities, which can also be a great start to create a good network for the future. Whereas others believe that a child should learn to occupy themselves on their own in their free time, which can help them to learn new and actual helping skills and manage their own time well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about children living 'far from the town' is a relevant real-world example, but it is not fully explored to show how it impacts the child's development. The arguments remain at a surface level, lacking depth or specific examples that would elevate the response to a higher band. To improve, you should expand on your points by explaining the 'why' and 'how' more thoroughly, ensuring that each paragraph provides a more comprehensive analysis of the benefits mentioned.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Additionally' helps to guide the reader through the argument. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'This can help' or 'This can also'. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the transition between ideas is smoother, rather than relying on a repetitive structure at the start of each sentence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but it lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic phrases like 'good network', 'new skills', and 'manage their own time' throughout the essay. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific language, but it is not consistently sophisticated. For example, 'occupy themselves' is used correctly, but the overall range is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise collocations and less common vocabulary related to child development and social interaction, such as 'interpersonal skills', 'self-reliance', or 'extracurricular engagement'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical inaccuracies. For instance, 'occupy on themselves on their own' is awkward and redundant, and 'his/hers own time' is grammatically incorrect. There are also minor issues with preposition usage and article placement. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on refining your control over complex sentence structures and proofreading for minor errors in pronoun usage and prepositional phrases.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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