Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Activities are play an important role in our life. In the essay, some people think that parents can encourage to their children that they should take part in organised group activities in their free time on the other side people think that children should learn about occupy themselves on their activities. I will give my opinion in the following paragraphs.
In the first view, few people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. according to me, it is good for children because with the help of it they can learn some different instead of study. They can feel fresh to do group activities and learn collaboration as well. For example, In our city's MLA make the play ground for children where children participate in the sports and win prizes. It is beneficial for children because they encourage towards games.
On the other side, people think that children can make activities themselves which is not good for learners because nowadays education is very difficult for children. No doubts, If they will create their own activities then they can make sharp their mind but they need something different which is good for their health and mind.
i conclude from this two opinions that first opinion is good for children because they will participate organised activities then they can fully concentrate on their study. they do not need to create any activities. So, I agree with first point.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both views and provides a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. The arguments for group activities are supported by a brief example, but the counter-argument regarding independent play is underdeveloped and lacks clarity. Furthermore, the essay falls slightly short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the overall task completion. To improve, you should expand on your reasoning with more detailed explanations and ensure that your arguments are fully explored rather than just stated. The conclusion is present but could be more effectively linked to the main body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'In the first view' or 'I conclude from this two opinions'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second body paragraph where the transition between the counter-argument and your own reasoning is unclear. Referencing is occasionally confusing, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to create a more natural, logical connection between your points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally basic and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and phrasing, such as 'make sharp their mind' and 'encourage towards games'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of less common or idiomatic language. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and a broader range of topic-specific vocabulary related to child development and education. Avoid repeating the same words throughout the text and try to use synonyms to enhance your writing style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Activities are play'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'In our city's MLA make the play ground'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing capital letters at the start of sentences. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your accuracy.
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