Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many individuals believes that guardians should encourage their kids to spend their spare time to take part in group activities meanwhile few believes kids should decide by their own .In my point of view I firmly believes kids should decide by themselves what they want to do .In my essay i will discuss both points

First if parents empathize their kids about activities.They do not have their own choices .They will spend more time and may be will get expert but they will fail to know their strength . For example if parents prefer to do musical activities in spare time .Their kids will join and also will be able to play instruments but they will never be able to create their own tune as compared to the kids who are found of music

Second if kids have their own choices .They will try to consume their energy and mind in their mode of interest topic rather it will be a sports activity or sciences.They are free to explore themselves .They will learn with their full heart and rewards will bring a good outcome.They try to learn,explore and finally will become expert in that particular activity.Every individual have his own space and mode of thinking .For example if a student wants to grow plants .He will collect data from all people relevant to this field and apply it on his garden .Being a part of activity he will love to explore it more in his spare time meanwhile it will transits him in expert of plants .

In light of above discussion,I firmly believes that kids should have their own choice to spend time .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding group activities is underdeveloped, focusing only on the potential loss of individuality without exploring the benefits of social skills or teamwork. The second body paragraph is more detailed but relies on a single example about gardening, which is slightly repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more balanced and varied supporting points for both perspectives, ensuring that your arguments are fully extended rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and limited use of cohesive devices. While you use transition words like 'First' and 'Second', the internal flow within paragraphs is often disjointed. For example, the transition from the idea of 'musical activities' to 'creating their own tune' is abrupt. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'They will learn with their full heart and rewards will bring a good outcome.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each sentence flows naturally from the previous one will enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good outcome' and 'expert', which are repetitive. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'empathize their kids' (which is used incorrectly here) and 'transits him in expert'. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated vocabulary related to child development and education would significantly boost your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Many individuals believes', 'Every individual have') and article usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when you attempt more complex constructions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several instances of missing spaces after periods and incorrect comma placement. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent punctuation will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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