Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Being independent and being able to coexist with others are both important elements in one's individual life as both contributes towards their growth. I will cover both the topics in the upcoming essays.

Taking part in organized group activities can help children interact with others, it will boosts their confidence and communication skill. Moreover, it is crucial for their growth as well, it helps them to understand how working together can lead to greater innovations. For instance, humans, in stone age period hunted together which was the sole reason for the survival of human race. Additionally most of the human innovations are results of group researches and experiments. It will also help them overcome some obstacles which are somewhat impossible for an individual. That said, a group brings together people with different skill sets, as a result the probability of solving a problem becomes significantly higher.

On the other hand, some people thinks the children should be able to occupy themselves.

The idea behind this perspective is that they do not become dependent on others, if a children always need someone's help, it hinders their ability to face a difficult situation on their own. Furthermore, it will suppress their individual thinking, which is crucial so that they can make their independent decisions without having to rely on others.

In conclusion, both plays a substantial role in every children's growth. Being able to work together as a group while also maintaining your individual mindset is equally important. A healthy balance of both is required in every children's life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the benefits of group activities are supported by historical examples, the discussion on independent play is less developed and relies on general assertions. The introduction is quite brief and lacks a clear thesis statement. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more specific, nuanced examples and ensure that your position is clearly stated and maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'On the other hand' to link your thoughts. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the phrase 'both plays a substantial role', where the subject-verb agreement is incorrect. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to create a more natural, sophisticated structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'coexist', 'innovations', and 'hinders'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'group researches' (research is an uncountable noun) and 'every children's growth' (children is already plural). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring that plural/singular forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'it boosts their confidence' (should be 'boost') and 'some people thinks' (should be 'think'). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as comma splices in the second paragraph. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary punctuation will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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