Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, many people assert that parents should insist their children to participate in activities which include teamwork in their leisure time. However, many some people oppose this statement by believing that children should learn to enjoy their own company. In this assay, I will shed some light on both perspectives and give my opinion for this statements.

To begin with the first thought, children who take part in organised group activities will get better exposure to real world as they got to know about the happenings around them. For example, they get to know about their capacity to learn new activities like any of the outdoor sports like badminton, football or any interest to build new hobbies. Furthermore, children who used to participate in various kind of activities are more social than those who stays in home for all the time. They can make more relations with people of diverse culture and get to know about them. Ultimately, this will make them ready as a great individual with all skills developed at some point.

On the other hand, those who say that children should focus on their own have some relevant reasons for their opinion. They used to believe children can get more time to introspect themselves if they used to occupy themselves on their own. By doing that, it will give them opportunity to develop new skills which can include how to run a computer. Additionally, in this busy world it is necessary to get along with yourself is important as no one is having time for each other. Therefore, enjoying on themselves will help them as they grow older.

To conclude, although there are some benefits of occupying on themselves for children, I believe that taking part in activities make children physically and mentally more strong and develop various kind of skills like teamwork and communication skills. Therefore, it is better to encourage them to participate in group activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both viewpoints and providing a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as social development versus introspection. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'learning to run a computer' is a bit simplistic and could have been expanded to discuss the value of self-directed learning or cognitive independence. The position is consistent throughout, but the supporting arguments could benefit from more depth and specific examples to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'many some people' in the introduction. The referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more natural flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use some less common vocabulary, such as 'introspect' and 'diverse culture'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'insist their children to participate' (should be 'encourage'), 'make more relations' (should be 'build relationships'), and 'physically and mentally more strong' (should be 'stronger'). These errors do not impede communication but prevent the essay from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb patterns and articles, such as 'many some people', 'as they got to know', 'stays in home', and 'no one is having time'. The use of 'if they used to occupy themselves' is also grammatically incorrect for the intended meaning. While the writer attempts complex structures, the control over these is inconsistent, leading to errors that occasionally distract the reader.

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