Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Most of people annouce that parents play a big role to encourage thier children to be a part of organised group activities in there free time. In the other way some people say thet it is important for children to learn how to occupay themselves on thier own.
People think that parents are the first responsible to underline children's lives. So with there experiences in the world life my be they heve the good opportunity to gide children's and advice them to take a part in organised group activities. They can give them the right advices and guide them to make a good choice. And how to find the best way to integrate very easily in group activity. While also teach them how to deal with a difficultt situations.
In other hand, poeple think that children's are responsible to make there own choise and occupy themselfs on their own way. Tthay think that can make children's self awareness and they will be more confident and more stronder to face life difficulties. It can makes them more confident on there choices , it's a convenient way to développe skills and achieve a good performance.
both perspective are practically good, but in my opinion I think it depends on how children's are ready mentally and physically to face this challenge. And the ability of children's to communicate more effectively in the community. Because there is many situations where children had lack of authority and lack of canfidence. Sometimes they find a difficulty to communicate with other's children. Because they feel chay or they have an agressif behaviour.
In conclusion, parent's sould be responsible to guide there children's or children's are respoonsible to make there own choices to find the best way. Bothe are resonable but also they depend on children's behaviours and their capabilities to integrate.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why children should occupy themselves is brief and relies on general statements like 'develop skills' without specific examples. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, merely restating the prompt rather than synthesizing the arguments. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points with concrete examples, such as specific types of group activities (e.g., team sports) or specific ways children benefit from solitary play (e.g., fostering creativity).
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In the other way' and 'In other hand' are used incorrectly to signal contrast. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'They think that can make children's self awareness', where the antecedent for 'that' is ambiguous. Improving the variety and accuracy of transition words will help the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are frequent spelling errors, such as 'annouce', 'gide', 'stronder', 'chay', and 'agressif'. Furthermore, word choice is often awkward or non-standard, such as 'world life' or 'under-line children's lives'. While the meaning is usually clear, the limited range and persistent spelling issues prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on learning the correct spelling of common words and expanding your vocabulary related to child development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('children's are responsible', 'it can makes them') and the misuse of articles and prepositions ('in there free time', 'to take a part'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary apostrophes used in plural nouns (e.g., 'children's', 'parent's'). These errors are frequent and occasionally require the reader to re-read to understand the intended meaning.
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