Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I am completely agree with that children should take part in organised activities instead of occupied their own space. It’ll broaden childrebs horizon when they involved in a group activities while playing with different perspective individuals. It will expand their spectrum.

Firstly if we’ll take about the people which believe that parents should organised their childrens to take part in organised activities instead their leisure time. So they think it will work for chidrens. They feel relaxed when tgey meet different kind of individual and play with them as well as they learn alot from them. When different minds meet they build a good connection and learn from each other.

On an other hand, some people think it is neccassary for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. It will develop critical thinking for children to build a tragic tragedy and focus on themselves. It’ll also help them to grow more stronger by their own and in their own space. This will deal with thinking who they plan, grab and implement the thinking of their own and make themselves better in it. If people work on them as well as invested for them with passion they can make a good life for living on their own without any group activities or anykind of sport.

So both perspective are great in tgeir own way but my believe that if parents encourage tgeir childrens to take part in organised activities instead their leisure the relax time it will help them grow with the people of different mindset.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both views regarding whether children should engage in organised group activities or learn to occupy themselves independently, and the writer provides a clear personal position stating agreement with organised activities. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. For example, the student writes that children 'broaden childrebs horizon when they involved in a group activities while playing with different perspective individuals,' but the supporting arguments remain somewhat superficial and lack specific examples from personal knowledge or experience. The reasoning tends to loop around the same concepts of meeting different people and learning from them without extending the discussion fully. Therefore, the response fits the Band 5 descriptors, where the task is addressed, but ideas are under-developed and the position becomes slightly repetitive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates some organizational structure with distinct paragraph breaks, including a brief introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a concluding sentence. However, the overall progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and weak cohesive ties. Phrases like 'Firstly if we’ll take about...' and 'On an other hand...' introduce sections, but cohesive devices are frequently inaccurate or used mechanically. Referencing is also unclear at times, such as when the pronoun 'they' is ambiguous ('some people think it is neccassary... It will develop critical thinking... This will deal with thinking who they plan...'). Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within paragraphs is disrupted by sentence-level confusion and repetitive looping of ideas. This aligns closely with the Band 5 descriptor for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and frequently imprecise, demonstrating strain in expressing complex thoughts. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'spectrum', 'perspective individuals', and 'critical thinking', these are often marred by word choice errors, collocation issues, and spelling mistakes (e.g., 'childrebs', 'neccassary', 'tgey', 'tgeir'). Phrases like 'build a tragic tragedy' are semantically incorrect and impede the reader's understanding. There is also heavy repetition of basic terms like 'children', 'organised', 'activities', and 'thinking' throughout the essay. The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, but noticeable errors and spelling inaccuracies place this performance firmly at Band 4.5, rounded to Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including basic subject-verb agreement issues ('I am completely agree'), awkward tense usage ('if we’ll take about'), and poorly formed relative clauses ('dealing with thinking who they plan, grab and implement'). Punctuation is also erratic, with missing commas and run-on phrasing. While some simple sentences are clear, attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty and cause difficulty for the reader. These persistent errors in basic and complex structures prevent the response from achieving a Band 6, reflecting the characteristics of Band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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