Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is really important for children to have a hobby or activities of their own apart from the studies. Some people says that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. In this essay will will further discuss both the viewpoints from my prospective with certain general examples to support the essay.

On one hand, people believe that children should be encouraged by their parents to pro-actively take part in the group activities during their leisure hours apart from studies for example- Taking part in group dancing sessions, learning how to swimming, piano lessons, etc. The reason for this is they can learn soft-skills for example- how to interact with other peer`s of their age and overcome new challenges together, learn how to debate, find a different solutions, being a team-player etc. Which can help them in their future to tackle with real life problems altogether.

On the other hand, some people believe that its essential for children to learn how to keep themselves preoccupied and content with themselves on their own as every child is different, so is their pace of learning. The reason i say this is because not all children can perform well under pressure. Moreover, some children has low self-esteem and does not feel comfortable meeting new people. This may effect their mental health and hampers their overall growth. Moreover, another good reason is some children are way too smart than the rest of their friends and catches things too quickly than others, waiting for others will just waste their time and energy. Hence they should be left on their own where they can perform much better.

In conclusion, i would say that both group learning activities and individual approach to do certain things have their own advantages, i personally believe that organized group activities are much better option if you are lazy and loves meeting new people and do things together. It can teach you new skills as well for your future goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views on children's activities and providing a personal opinion. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant and extended, such as discussing social skills and peer interaction for group activities, and individual learning paces for independent activities. However, some of the arguments in the third paragraph, such as children being 'way too smart than the rest', lean towards over-generalisation and lack depth. Examples like piano lessons and swimming are provided, supporting the task requirements well. It fits the Band 7 descriptor as all parts are addressed and a clear position is presented with supported ideas, though some expansion could be more refined.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is clearly organised with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. Logical progression is evident throughout the response. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are some mechanical transitions and run-on sentences that detract from seamless flow, notably the lengthy compound sentence structures in the second and third body paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but referencing is occasionally loose, such as the pronoun use in the final paragraph. Overall, the organisation is clear and logical, earning a solid Band 6.5 to 7.0; it best aligns with Band 7 due to clear logical sequencing and paragraphing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common items like 'pro-actively', 'preoccupied', 'low self-esteem', and 'hampers their overall growth'. However, there are noticeable word-choice inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'apart from the studies' instead of 'apart from studies', 'find a different solutions', and 'catches things too quickly'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but grammatical constraints on lexical forms sometimes slip. Because the vocabulary range is sufficient for the task and allows some flexibility despite occasional errors that do not impede communication, a Band 6.0 is awarded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. The writer attempts complex structures, but these are frequently marred by grammatical errors. Examples include agreement errors ('some children has low self-esteem'), incorrect verb forms ('does not feel comfortable', 'may effect' instead of 'affect'), and unnecessary word repetition ('In this essay will will further discuss'). Punctuation is also faulty in places, such as comma splices and stray dashes. While communication is not impeded and the meaning remains clear, the frequency of errors prevents the grammar score from reaching Band 6.5. It fits comfortably within the Band 6 descriptor due to a mix of sentence types and persistent errors.

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