Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A section of society believes that the academic success of students are depend on the best teachers. However, others think and believe that student's own attitude and determination are more important. I support the latter view. This essay will discuss both the views with my opinion in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why academic success of students depends on good teachers at school. The first and foremost one is that experienced teachers can explain difficult words in the simple and easy way. Teachers always use differnt styles of teaching according to the needs of student. The second one is that teachers can motivate to students and always help them to improve their mistakes. For instance, if a student have problem with math subject, teachers find best way to solve their problem. They always explain different ideas and simple way of solving the problems. So, teachers also give extra classes to students who are weak in subject. As a result, teachers can make learning more easier and interesting.

On the other hand, there are several reasons why student's attitude and determination are more important. Firstly, pupils cannot study with the teachers. They need more attitude and determination for the study. The ability to learn, daily practise is totally depend on student's determination. Daily practice is also important for acheiving good marks in study. For example, a student who studies for approximately two hours every day, can improve their ability and academic score, no matter subject is easy or difficult. Resultantly, positive attitude can also help student to remain focus on study in difficult topics. Students who have determination and attitude will study independently.

To conclude, although academic success of students are depend on good teachers, if a student have good attitude and determination, they can study independently and also can acheive good marks in their academic. So, pupil's own determination and attitude are more important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The student has unfortunately responded to the wrong prompt entirely, writing about whether academic success depends on good teachers versus student attitude, rather than the actual prompt regarding organised group activities versus children occupying themselves on their own. According to the official band descriptors, a response that is largely off-topic cannot achieve a passing score for task completion. Although the student has provided an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the lack of relevance to the actual task question means the ideas presented do not address the prompt. Furthermore, the position taken is clear, but because it evaluates a completely different topic, the task achievement is severely compromised. A band score of 3.0 is appropriate here as the response fails to address the specific prompt provided, representing a fundamental misunderstanding of the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

Despite the off-topic content, the student demonstrates a basic structural framework with an introduction, clearly demarcated body paragraphs using transition signals like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', and a concluding paragraph. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate distinct ideas. However, logical progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and some awkward mechanical cohesion, such as 'The first and foremost one' and 'The second one'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly with pronouns like 'they' and 'their' referring ambiguously back to teachers or students. Overall, the structural organisation shows some control, fitting comfortably into the band 5 descriptor for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for basic communication. There are frequent word-choice errors, such as 'academic success of students are depend' and 'motivate to students'. Attempts at less common vocabulary are generally inaccurate, and there are several spelling and morphological errors, such as 'differnt', 'acheiving', and 'remain focus'. While communication is occasionally strained by these errors, the reader can still grasp the intended meaning of the sentences. This performance aligns well with the band 5 descriptors, reflecting a restricted vocabulary range with noticeable errors in collocation and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is limited, consisting primarily of simple sentences and attempts at complex structures that are frequently faulty. There are prominent grammatical errors throughout the text, most notably subject-verb agreement issues such as 'academic success... are depend' and 'a student have'. Other errors include awkward phrasing like 'if a student have problem with math subject' and 'no matter subject is easy or difficult'. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader and demonstrate a lack of control over basic grammatical structures. Therefore, a band score of 4.0 is awarded for grammatical range and accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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