Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Group activities may encourage children to do teamwork effectively as well as communicate effectively. Some people say that parents should support group studies for thrir children in their spare time rather than wasting time on playing online games or scrolling sicial media. Others belive that children should learn how to keep themselves occupied without taking help of someone.
On the one hand, group studies are essential for children's physical and mental growth. As it can help them to improve some important skills such as; communication, teamwork and decision making. However, some children tend to surf the internet, scroll social media or play online games. As a result, thry become aggressive as games nowadays provides more and more violence. Thus, engaging thrm in group discussions about an interesting topic about animals or forests will encourage them to spend their spare time in those activities. In addition, schools, universities or state level championship programs should be organised time by time.
On the other hand, some children love to spend time alone. Parents should encourage them to do some research online about their interests or by watch documentaries on wildlife. These activities will help to enhance their mood and creativity. As a result, they would be kept occupied as well as improve their knowledge.
In my opinion, taking part in group activities and learn how to occupy themselves both have their own significance and values as well. I support both the views as they play vital role in children's overall upbringing and shaoing their character.
In conclusion, taking part in organised group activities and learning how to occupy themselves in the spare time both are equally beneficial for children's overall upbringing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on how children should spend their free time and providing a personal opinion. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. While the introduction outlines the benefits of group activities and the counter-view of independent play, the body paragraphs tend to wander into tangential details, such as discussing the violence in online games rather than fully exploring the core debate about organised group activities versus solitary self-reliance. Your position is clear by the end of the essay, but to reach a higher level, you need to ensure that every supporting point directly reinforces the main argument without drifting into peripheral issues.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing, separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as "On the one hand," "On the other hand," and "In my opinion." However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition between sentences within the second paragraph feels slightly disjointed, and referencing is not always completely clear. To improve further, you should ensure that cohesive links flow naturally and that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, creating a stronger sense of overall progression throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and topical phrases such as "physical and mental growth," "decision making," and "overall upbringing." However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including typos like "thrir" for their, "sicial" for social, "belive" for believe, and "thry" for they. Furthermore, some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as "taking help of someone." While these lexical errors do not seriously impede communication, they limit your score. Working on accuracy in spelling and choosing more precise word combinations will greatly enhance your lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writing includes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating that you can construct compound and complex clauses such as "As a result, they would be kept occupied as well as improve their knowledge." There are, however, some errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, you use inappropriate punctuation with a semicolon followed by a comma in "such as; communication," and there are minor structural issues like "taking part in group activities and learn how to occupy themselves," where verb forms lack parallelism. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear. Incorporating more error-free complex sentences and carefully checking punctuation will help elevate your grammatical score.
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