Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that children should spend their free time in joining group activities, while other people say that they should learn how to keep themselves busy on their own. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in the following paragraphs.

This will discuss the value of take part in organised group activities. To begin with, it helps to build children's social skills and the social skills are very necessary for children because it helps them in their future life. For example, if children take part in cricket and football game, they learn how to cooperate with team mamber, also they make friends. Secondly, taking part in group activites helps to develop children's confidence and they identify their intrest and try build their intrest with the help of group activities. For instance, if children perfoming good in cricket or any other activity it helps to enhance their confidence and also they achieve their intresting sport goal in the future.

On the other hand, this paragraph will discuss the value of children should learn themselves on their own. To begin with, this thing encourge children to became an independence and it helps to how to learn something by themselves. Moreover, it also help to develop childre's creativity because children making paintaing, some model by own. Also, it helps to focus and reduce dependent ratio because of it children learn how to make some thing without anyones help. For example, if child who make family picture without taking help of other family member.

In conclusion,I think both are improtant for children. So, parents encourge their children for group activites for improve their social skills but also they should encourage their children to do by themselves because it helps their children to become independence and responsible.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on how children should spend their free time and providing a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits of organised group activities are reasonably supported with examples like cricket and football, the arguments regarding children occupying themselves independently are more limited and under-developed, relying on repetitive points about creativity and independence without sufficient extension. To move to a higher band, the writer would need to fully develop all parts of the prompt with well-supported, extended explanations rather than relying on brief, generalized assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression, with a logical arrangement of paragraphs that successfully introduce the topic, discuss the two views in turn, and present a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used adequately to signal transitions between ideas, such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion can sometimes feel mechanical or repetitive, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the awkward transition 'this paragraph will discuss the value of children should learn themselves on their own.' To reach the next level, the writer needs to employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices without relying on formulaic signposts, ensuring seamless transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for communicating basic ideas, but the range is limited and frequently repetitive. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'cooperate', 'creativity', and 'independent', but encounters noticeable errors in word formation and choice, such as 'take part' instead of 'taking part', 'mamber' instead of 'member', 'intrest' instead of 'interest', 'perfoming' instead of 'performing', 'became' instead of 'become', 'independence' instead of 'independent', 'paintaing' instead of 'painting', and 'important' instead of 'important'. These lexical and spelling errors are noticeable and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, keeping the score at this level. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, improve word formation accuracy, and minimize spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple forms alongside faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, articles, plurals, and prepositions, such as 'value of take part' instead of 'value of taking part', 'cricket and football game' instead of 'cricket and football games', 'childre's creativity' instead of 'children's creativity', 'making paintaing' instead of 'making paintings', and 'if child who make' instead of 'if a child makes'. These errors require some effort from the reader to parse meaning. To improve, the writer needs to increase grammatical accuracy across a wider variety of complex sentence structures and carefully check basic agreement and verb patterns.

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