Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today’s era, there are multiple activities and programs for the developing children. Most of the children are involved in these activities, while some prefer to learn at home. This essay will discuss both views and will provide personal opinion on what children should be doing in their free time.

Parents who are busy working and do not have time to spend with their children at home should be admitting their child to any of the activities so that their child will not feel alone. Whereas, from both parents one parent is staying at home should be spending time with the children and playing with them builds up a good relationship between parents and child. It is often said that children who learn how to occupy themselves or play at home develop a healthy mental health throughout their lives.

I personally believe that children should stay at home with their parents or grandparents in their free time. Because, this way they can develop a great bond with family and do not feel alone. People usually say that home is the first school for a child. The organized group activities often provide children with the extrinsic motivation which is not good for children, they may feel competent among others or may lack behind others. This will develop things like envy or disappointment in children which is not healthy for their brain as they are in their fragile stage of development. Thus, parents should be spending time with their children in their free time.

To conclude, it depends on the parents schedule for the day if they are busy they have to get their children enrolled in different activities, yet parents who have some time to spend with their child should encourage their child to occupy themselves in their free time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state a clear preference for children spending free time with family, especially in the paragraph beginning “I personally believe.” The point that group activities may create comparison, envy, or disappointment is relevant, and the conclusion recognises that parents’ circumstances can affect their choice. However, the two views are not developed equally: the case for organised activities is mainly that busy parents can prevent children from feeling alone, with little explanation of benefits such as teamwork or social skills. Your discussion of independent activity also shifts toward time with parents, which is not quite the same as learning to occupy oneself alone. Develop these distinctions and support each view with a specific example to make the response more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, discussion of the views, a paragraph giving your opinion, and a conclusion. The reader can follow the main position, and linking expressions such as “Whereas,” “Thus,” and “To conclude” signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, the progression is less clear because several ideas are compressed into long sentences, particularly the second paragraph, and the contrast introduced by “Whereas” is not smoothly connected to the preceding point. The conclusion also introduces a slightly different recommendation—children should “occupy themselves”—without clearly reconciling it with your preference for family time. Use clearer topic sentences and refer explicitly to the two options throughout, rather than relying on repeated general references to “children” and “activities.”

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “organised group activities,” “extrinsic motivation,” “competent,” and “fragile stage of development.” These choices show an attempt to express more specific ideas, and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however: “developing children,” “healthy mental health,” and “may lack behind others” do not express the intended meanings naturally. “The parents schedule” is also imprecise in this context. Aim for more conventional combinations and check whether a phrase accurately describes your point; for example, distinguish children’s emotional well-being from their mental health, and use a natural expression for falling behind peers. This would make your argument more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional ideas and clauses beginning with “so that” and “which.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. For example, “Parents … should be admitting their child” uses an unsuitable verb form after “should”; “from both parents one parent is staying at home” has an unclear and faulty clause structure; and “Because, this way…” is an incorrectly punctuated sentence fragment. There are also agreement and number issues in “between parents and child.” Practise forming clear conditional sentences and check subject–verb relationships, articles, and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen the complex sentences you are already attempting.

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