Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In my opinion, I prefer to say that being part of the organised group activities are a good option for the youth to develop their own brain, health and improve mindset by exploring new activities, meeting new people, learning new stuff. on the other hand, due to this daily increasing crime rate, most parents are scared to send their kids out to play and they want them to isolate and find something on their own to occupy themselves.

Both type of parents have different way of thinking depending on the geography. who lives in a gated community and safe environment, the safety is not their concern whereas the parents who are facing these reality harshes of life are scared and over protective. None of them can be proven wrong.

I would personnaly think that exploring the world and getting into multiple activities has always been the boldest and great decision of parents for any child, The people we see now on the top of the leagues, as in business, sports and other activities all have something in common which is exposure. The exposure gives you confidence to deal with any problem and makes your life comfortable and rough ready.

Simultaneously, i understand the pain of the parents who want there kids to isolate themselve, however, i dont truly agree to them. Due to the changing world environment, you can't let you own soul to lose in the real world. its your job to build them ready for everything comes in future. Every hurdle to tackle with. We as a parents are more responsible for the better world by training them good ethics and moral values and make them confident and ready.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the discussion and make your preference clear: you support organised activities, while acknowledging parents’ concerns about safety and independent play. The points about exposure building confidence and helping children face future challenges are relevant. However, the two views are not explored equally: the case for children occupying themselves alone is mainly explained through parental fear of crime, rather than the benefits of independence, creativity, or self-reliance. The claim that successful people share “exposure” is also broad and would be more convincing with a specific example or explanation. To strengthen the response, develop the advantages of both options and show more precisely why your preferred approach is better.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an opening position, discussion of parents’ differing circumstances, and further paragraphs explaining your view and addressing the opposing concern. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand” and “Simultaneously” help signal shifts. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are compressed into long sentences, and some references are unclear—for example, “None of them” does not clearly identify which parents or views it refers to. The final paragraph also moves quickly from parental concern to moral values and responsibility. Use clearer topic sentences, divide related points more carefully, and make pronouns and transitions refer unambiguously to the ideas they connect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “exposure,” “over protective,” “hurdle,” and “moral values,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “develop their own brain,” “these reality harshes of life,” and “rough ready.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “personnaly” and “themselve,” which reduce accuracy. Some wording is repetitive, particularly the repeated references to being “ready” and to activities. Aim for natural topic-specific phrases and check spelling and collocation; for instance, describe activities as helping children “develop their abilities” and prepare them to “cope with challenges.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “however.” The overall message can usually be followed, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation make parts less clear. For example, “being part of the organised group activities are” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “who lives in a gated community” is an incomplete and awkwardly formed clause. Several sentences run together, and capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent, as in “on the other hand” and “i understand.” Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and review agreement and punctuation when editing. More accurate control of these structures would make your ideas easier to follow.

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