Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that parents should encourage their children to participate in organised group activities during their free time, while other argure that cjhildren should learn to entertain themselves independently. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe a balance between the two is the best approach.

On the one hand, taking part in organised group acitivites can be highly beneficial for children. Activities such as team sports, music classes and group projects allow youngester to interact with others and develop important social skills. For example, playing football teaches children how to cooperate, communicatevand respect their teammates. Moreover, these activities cab help children become more confident and responsible. They learn how to follow rules, manage their time and deal with both success and failure. Therfore, group activities can paly an important role in a child's overall development and help them learn the ropes of social life.

On the other hand, it is equally important for children to spend some time alone and learn how to occupy themselves. When children are given freedom, They can explore their own interest and become more creative. For instance, a child may choose to read a book, draw pictures, bulid something or simply play independently. In my oipnion, both approaches are important, but parents should strike a balance between them. Children should have opportunities to participate in group activities because these develop communication and teanwork skills.

In conclusion, organised acticities can teach children valuable social and teamwork skills, whereas independent acticities encourages creativity and self-confidence. I believe parents should provide the best of both worlds by allowing their children to enjoy group activities as well as sufficient free time on thier own.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a clear position: “a balance between the two is the best approach.” The discussion of organised activities is supported with relevant examples, including football and learning to follow rules, while the independent-play paragraph gives examples such as reading and drawing. This meets the task well. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the benefits of independent time are listed, but the explanation of how it builds creativity or self-reliance remains brief. The paragraph also repeats your balanced position before the conclusion rather than extending the discussion with a specific reason or example. To strengthen the response, explain more fully how children benefit from choosing and managing their own activities, and support your opinion with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow. The central position is also consistent. Some cohesion is less effective, however. The second body paragraph shifts from explaining independent play to repeating the case for group activities (“these develop communication and teamwork skills”), which interrupts the development of its main point. The conclusion then restates ideas already presented without adding much synthesis. Use the independent-play paragraph to develop that view fully, and connect the two sides by explaining how parents might balance them in practice. This would make the progression more sustained and less reliant on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “social skills,” “cooperate,” “responsible,” “creativity,” and “overall development.” Phrases such as “strike a balance” and “the best of both worlds” help express your position clearly. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “learn the ropes,” though this is somewhat informal for an academic essay. Numerous spelling errors—such as “argure,” “acitivites,” “youngester,” “Therfore,” and “thier”—reduce the accuracy and polish of the vocabulary, even though the intended meaning is generally clear. Some word choices are also imprecise, including “independent activities” where “independent play” would be more natural. Proofread carefully and prioritise accurate spelling and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause in the introduction (“while other…”) and a conditional structure (“When children are given freedom…”). Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the paragraphing helps the reader follow the argument. Some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “independent acticities encourages” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “They” is incorrectly capitalised after a comma in “When children are given freedom, They…”. The sentence “Children should have opportunities… because these develop…” is also awkwardly connected to the preceding discussion and would benefit from clearer sentence structure. Continue using varied clauses, but check agreement, sentence boundaries, and capitalisation during proofreading.

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