Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Thoughts has difference between individauls. Some says that children must be encouraged by their parents for leisure activites. The other think that children must be aware about themselves and it must be teach them. In my perspective both are better option, crusial is to engage the chidren in healthy activities.

To commence with, parents are concious about their children. They want their children do better in physical and mental work. Thus they force them to do take part in orgainzed activites to stay active. For instance, in recently video on youtube Japan has introduced special centers for children and parents who are willing to spend life in creativity. They leave their children to these center even they are weeping. These are just parent's concerns.

On the other hand , some individuals think that children has to learn about how they keep them healthy on their own. Parent should not force them to do activities by their choice. They must learned them how they spend their leisure time productively. For exapmles, many institutes have courses to makes children's mind sharp and productive. They also organised many activities. when the children gain interest to do something. They join the same institute for further.

In conclusion , both views of parent has their own worth. Sometime Its depend on chidren capability if they are active they take part in all activities they do not waste their free time. But if the children are lazy Its parent responsibility to engage them some healthy and physical activities. Thus we just make sure that our children utlize their free time to enhance their character building.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a position: “both are better option,” with the conclusion adding that parents should guide children who are less active. This gives the response a relevant central idea. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The first body paragraph focuses on parents’ concern and an unclear example about Japanese centres, without explaining specifically how organised group activities benefit children. The second paragraph also shifts from learning to occupy oneself independently to joining institutes and organised activities, so the two views are not clearly distinguished. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and possible limitations of each approach, then support them with a clear, relevant example and maintain a consistent opinion throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the Japanese-centre example moves from parents’ concerns to children weeping, but the connection to the argument is not explained. In the second body paragraph, the move from independent use of leisure time to institutes that organise activities blurs the contrast between the views. Some linking phrases are also mechanical, and references such as “they” in the examples are not always clear. Make each paragraph develop one main point in a logical sequence and clarify what each example demonstrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “leisure time,” “organised activities,” “productive,” and “character building.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make the writing less precise, such as “concious,” “orgainzed,” “exapmles,” and “utilize.” Phrases such as “Thoughts has difference between individauls” and “both are better option” are also unnatural and obscure your meaning. Aim to learn common topic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions for benefits, such as social skills, independence, or physical well-being, would help you explain your ideas rather than relying on broad terms like “healthy activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent, with errors that sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “Some says” and “children has,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect, and “They want their children do better,” which needs a grammatical pattern such as “want their children to do better.” The sentence beginning “when the children gain interest” is also not properly connected to the preceding sentence. Articles, plurals, verb forms, and punctuation are often unreliable. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses; check agreement and verb patterns in each sentence.

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