Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children's often struggle to find free time activities. It is believed by certain individuals that parents should support their children to participate in team activities in their free time. However, others consider that it is crucial for children to understand how to spend their time. While both views have compelling arguments, I largely agree with the latter view because it can facilites individuals to develop decision making power.

To begin with, by ecouraging children to participate in organized group activities, parents can develop essential skills in children such as, cooperation and public speaking. This would help participants to work in thier professional life in the future. The more children participate in group work, the more they are likely to become confident in public speking. For instance, for an individual is more convenient to work in a team or speak in front of huge audience, if they have prior experience of team work. On the other hand, children can develop better decision making power by learning how to occupy themselves. This will not only give them freedom to decide what to do, but also can make them independent. Rather than encouraging their children to participate in certain activities, parents should leave them to make their own choices. By learing by themselves, children can develop better understranding about their goals and what they should do achieve them without relying on others. For example, people who remain independent on others while making decisions are likely to stay focused and calm in uncertain situtations than others.

In conclusion, although encouraging children to particiapte in group activities might have some advantages, I strongly believe that parents should leave their dependents to learn how to occupy themselves. This is mainly becuase it makes them more focused and confident about their decisions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a consistent preference for children learning to occupy themselves, explaining that this can build independence and decision-making. The group-activity paragraph also gives relevant benefits, including cooperation and confidence in public speaking, so the response covers the main parts of the task. However, the two sides are not developed equally: the benefits of group activities are explained briefly, while the case for independent activity is clearer but still relies on broad claims. The example about people who make decisions independently staying calm in uncertain situations is not fully connected to children’s free-time choices. To strengthen the response, explain how a specific activity or situation demonstrates each benefit and develop the reasoning behind your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion that restates your position. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement, although some connections between claims and examples are not fully clear. For instance, the example about working in a team or speaking to an audience follows the point about confidence, but its wording makes the relationship difficult to follow. The independent-activity paragraph also moves from freedom to goals and then to decision-making in uncertain situations without fully linking these ideas. Use clearer references and explain how each example supports the point immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “cooperation,” “independent,” “decision making,” and “uncertain situations,” and you attempt some less common expressions. However, the range and control are uneven, with noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that sometimes distract the reader. Examples include “facilites,” “ecouraging,” “thier,” “speking,” and “understranding.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “decision making power,” “huge audience,” and “remain independent on others.” Aim to learn accurate collocations as complete phrases and proofread spelling carefully. More precise wording would help you express the ideas without relying on repeated terms such as “children,” “activities,” and “decisions.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including “While both views have compelling arguments…” and “This will not only give them freedom…, but also…,” which helps convey relationships between ideas. However, some grammatical errors remain, and several sentences are awkwardly constructed. For example, “For instance, for an individual is more convenient…” has an incorrect clause structure; it would be clearer as “For instance, it is more convenient for an individual to…”. In “parents should leave them to make their own choices,” the pronoun reference is not fully clear, and “what they should do achieve them” is missing “to.” Review sentence patterns with infinitives and ensure each clause has a clear subject and verb. Greater accuracy in these structures would make your meaning smoother.

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