Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few individual believe that the kids should be motivated by their parents to participate in the outdoor recreational activities during their leisure time while other stated that they should invest themselves on their own when they have spare time.In the following paragraph i will i will discuss both views and i will state my opinion.

By involving in group activities such as playing in the garden that will help the children to stay healthy not only by the mentally but also it will help them to concentrate on their task and they can perform better in their studies and they can also follow their passion. The group activities will also learn them how to communicate with others and they can make friends. So, this way they can learn meaningful communication that will help them to achieve their conversation in a shorter time. For example, the children are participating in the team they can learn not only team working but also they can stay fit by playing daily one hour in the evening.

On the other side, the parents are not motivating to involve in anything instead of the children will fill something that he has interest in it. By deciding themselves there is chance of they might involve in some activity that is not good for them like using smart phone in the childhood that is not good for them they can learn something that is not for them such as watching films. Most important in the era of technology, internet plays key role that can tell anything you can ask it will not see who is asking and if they get everything by searching they will not use their intelligence they will be dependent on it.

To conclude, the children should be motivated by parents to involve in community activities in their leisure while other believe that the children can find themselves what is better for them. In my opinion by involving in the team activites it will jelp them to stay fit and thay can learn how to communicate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a clear preference for organised group activities, especially in the conclusion. Relevant benefits include fitness, concentration, communication and making friends, while the discussion of independent time raises concerns about excessive phone use and reliance on the internet. However, the two positions are not explored evenly: the case for children occupying themselves independently is presented mainly as a risk, rather than explaining possible benefits such as creativity or self-reliance. Several claims, including that group activities help children communicate “in a shorter time,” are unclear or insufficiently explained. Develop each side with a specific reason and example, and state your position more directly in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the other side” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together in long, repetitive sentences, particularly in the paragraph about group activities. Linking phrases such as “not only…but also” are repeated, and some references are unclear—for example, “they can achieve their conversation” does not make the relationship between ideas clear. Use shorter sentences, organise each paragraph around one main point, and make pronouns and linking expressions refer clearly to the ideas they connect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “leisure time,” “team working,” “concentrate,” and “dependent,” so the reader can generally identify your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “Few individual believe,” “invest themselves on their own,” “achieve their conversation,” and “the children will fill something.” There are also spelling errors such as “activites,” “thay,” and “jelp.” Aim to learn common topic collocations and check spelling carefully; choosing simpler, accurate expressions is more effective than using phrases whose meaning is unclear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including structures with “while,” “such as,” and “not only…but also.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “the parents are not motivating to involve” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “the group activities will also learn them” gives the activity an incorrect subject and verb relationship. The opening also repeats “i will” and lacks clear sentence punctuation. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine related ideas using one subordinate clause at a time. Check subject–verb agreement and verb patterns during revision.

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