Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's increasingly busy world, there is considerable debate about whether parents shoul encourage their children in organised group activities during their leisure time or allow them to learn how to entertain themselves independently. Although both approaches offer valuable benefirs, I believe that a balanced cobmination of the two is essential for a child's overall development.

On the one hand, participating in organised group activities can help children develop a wide range of social and practical skills. Activities such as team sports, musica classes, scounting encourage cooperation, communication and discipline. By working towards a coomon goal,c bildren learn to respect others, resolve disagreements and appreciate the importance of teamwork furthermore, structured activities provide opputunities for children yo discover their talents and develop confidence in their abilities. For example, a child who joins football team may gradually become more confident, learn to cope with defeat and understand the value of preserverance. Such experiences can be particularly beneficial in preparing young peaople for the collaborative nature of adult life.

on the contrary, learning to occupy oneslef indepentsly is equally impirtsnt. when children are not constsntsntly directed by adults, they have the freedom to explore rheir intrests, exercise their imsgination snd make decisions for themselves. Reading, drwaing, building models or inventing games can stimulate creativity and encourage independent thinking.

In my opinion, neither approach should be prioritised to the exclusion of the other.

in conclusion, both organised group activities and independent leisure time contribute significantly to children's development. Rather than choosing one approach exclusively, parents should provide oppurtunities for bith, ensbling their children to become sociable, confidentand and independent individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both perspectives and state a clear position: “a balanced combination of the two is essential.” The discussion of organised activities is supported with relevant examples, including team sports and a child learning to cope with defeat. The case for independent leisure is also relevant, with reading, drawing and inventing games illustrating creativity and decision-making. However, this second view is developed less fully: it would benefit from a specific example or explanation of how independent play prepares children for later life. Your conclusion restates your position, but the brief opinion paragraph adds little reasoning. Develop that judgement by explaining how parents might balance the two approaches in practice and why this balance is preferable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate discussion of each view, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “On the one hand” and “In my opinion” to show the relationship between ideas. However, progression is weakened by the very short opinion paragraph, which interrupts the discussion rather than extending it, and the conclusion largely repeats the introduction. Some linking is mechanical, and the transition “on the contrary” does not accurately signal a contrasting but equally valid view; “On the other hand” would be clearer. Keep paragraphing consistent and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “cooperation,” “discipline,” “teamwork,” “creativity” and “independent thinking.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and phrases such as “collaborative nature of adult life” show an attempt to use more developed language. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms occur throughout, for example “benefirs,” “scounting,” “preserverance” and “intrests.” There are also some awkward or imprecise expressions, such as “encourage their children in organised group activities” and “occupy themselves on their own.” Proofread carefully and learn accurate collocations, such as “encourage children to participate in activities” and “entertain themselves independently,” to make your vocabulary more precise and reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a concession in the introduction (“Although both approaches offer valuable benefits…”) and a conditional example (“A child who joins a football team may…”). These structures allow you to express relationships between ideas, and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical and punctuation errors nevertheless reduce accuracy. For instance, “By working towards a common goal, children learn…” needs a space after the comma, while “when children are not constantly directed by adults” begins a sentence that should start with a capital letter. The sentence beginning “Activities such as team sports…” also needs clearer punctuation and a complete, well-formed list. Review sentence boundaries, capitalisation and punctuation, then check articles and sentence structure during proofreading.

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