Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Toddlers can learn lots of activity during their leisure time either by showing their interest in group tasks or by engaged themselves in their own. While some individuals argue that parents should motivate their children to participate in organised group events in their extra time, others believe that it is crucial for them to know how to busy themselves on their own. This essay will explore both the perspectives along with valid reasons in the ensuing paragraphs before presenting my opinion.

On the one hand, supporters of the former view argue that children can enhance their mental strength. This is primarily because they can developed their cognitive power by enrolling in different kinds of work along with other people, which provides them to become more creative in this competitive world. For instance, children can take part in various science fair programmes. They can developed their mental ability to think about any innovative ideas since their childhood. Consequently, they would be able to make themselves more competitive. Furthermore, they can develop their soft skills. For example, children can improve their comunication skill while they are exposed with others. As a result, they can confidently communicate with others without any hurdles.

On the other hand, advocates of the later view argue it is beneficial for toddlers in terms of their safety. The main reason behind this concern is that incresing risk of crime if they go outside, which may lead to some detrimental effects on the children's upbringing. To illustrates this, many children learn unwanted activities by going outside and exposed with others who have bad habits. As a result, they make themselves very bad.

From my perspective, caretakers should allow their children to go outside and give permission to take part in various fruitful activities. Which significantly leads to betterment of their future.

In conclusion, although it is important for toddlers to busy themselves on their own, I believe that parents should give them flexibilities to take part in various leisure activities with other individuals. This creates not only for their mental growth, but also improvize their soft skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a preference for organised activities, so the response is relevant to the question. The group-activity side has some supporting detail: science fairs are linked to creativity, and interaction is linked to communication skills. However, the opposing view is explained mainly through safety and the risk of children adopting bad habits; this does not fully explore the value of learning to occupy oneself independently. Your own position is also not entirely consistent: you first support children going out to activities, but later say it is important for them to keep themselves occupied alone. Develop the independent-play argument and make your final opinion consistent and explicit, with a specific reason or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for each view, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some flexibility in linking ideas. However, the links between claims and explanations are occasionally mechanical, with repeated “For example” and “As a result,” and the final opinion paragraph begins with the fragment “Which significantly leads to betterment of their future.” The conclusion also repeats the main position without resolving its tension with the claim that children should occupy themselves alone. Use clearer referencing and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “cognitive power,” “innovative ideas,” “soft skills,” and “detrimental effects,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts to use less common expressions, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “learn lots of activity,” “busy themselves,” “exposed with others,” and “make themselves very bad” do not express the intended ideas clearly. Spelling errors such as “comunication,” “incresing,” and “improvize” are noticeable. Aim for natural collocations and accurate word forms rather than choosing more elaborate phrases. For instance, describe children as developing skills, spending time independently, or being exposed to negative influences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “While,” “since,” and “although,” and the overall message can usually be followed. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur across verb forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “they can developed” instead of “they can develop,” “the main reason … is that incresing risk” without a complete clause, and “To illustrates” instead of “To illustrate.” “Which significantly leads…” is a sentence fragment, while “children can improve their comunication skill” also needs more accurate number and article control. Practise building complete clauses and checking the verb form after modal verbs. Greater accuracy in these patterns would make your ideas easier to read.

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