Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There has been an ongoing debate whether parents should encourage their children to involve in group activities or the youngs should learn how to utilise theri time on theri own. I belive that a balnce of both is required in order to be productive. In this essay i will discuss both the sides and share my opinion.

On one hand, childrens should be encouraged to take part in soical activities as it help them to learn different values of life. while interacting with other, it promotes children to build communication and teamwork that cannot be taught alone. Moreover having social interaction at early age can help reduce social anxiety and stage fear.This could benefical youngs to gain confidence and present them in form of many people. This would help childrens to perform better in theri carrier, and promote economic growth. For instance, latest study found by doctors of Japan that childrens whou usually spend their time around limited people can develope satge fear.

On the other hand, it is aslo important for youth to spend their own time bythemself. The primary reason for this is that it wont be possible to have someone around us alltime. In this case it is vital that youngs should be aware to utlise their time productively, to achive their goals. Another

possible reason could be possibly bulling as when children gather in group they tend to make fun of the weak one due to which it may traumatise the young brain. lastly being in group activity many could not express their own fellinf instead would follow the ideas of other.

In conclusion, I belive that a balaced approach should be considr as social interastion helps in improving social life and learning to work in team. that being said childrens should also learn to utlise free time on their own for creative mindset.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state a clear position: “a balance of both is required.” The discussion of group activities includes relevant benefits such as communication, teamwork and confidence, while the independent-time paragraph explains self-reliance and the risk of children simply following others’ ideas. These points answer the question, but some are not fully explained. For example, the link from confidence to “economic growth” is asserted rather than demonstrated, and the claim about bullying would benefit from a specific explanation or example. The reference to a Japanese study is also vague and does not clearly support the point. Develop the strongest ideas with clearer reasoning and relevant examples, and make the balance in your opinion more explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are placed together without clear links. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from teamwork to anxiety, career performance and economic growth, with the relationship between these ideas left unclear. Some linking is also mechanical or repetitive, and the final paragraph repeats the balanced position without drawing the main reasons together. Organise each body paragraph around one central point, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “communication,” “teamwork,” “social anxiety,” “productive,” and “creative mindset.” These choices show an effort to discuss both social and personal development. However, the range is limited by repeated general terms such as “youngs,” “children,” and “time,” while inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations sometimes make the meaning harder to understand. Examples include “involve in group activities,” “stage fear,” and “perform better in their carrier.” Several misspellings, such as “balnce” and “th eri,” also reduce clarity. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and word forms carefully; precise vocabulary will help you express the ideas you already have.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including clauses introduced by “as,” “while,” and “that.” This gives the response some variety, but control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation can make parts difficult to read. For example, “as it help them” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “This could benefical youngs to gain confidence” is not a complete, well-formed construction. The sentence beginning “while interacting with other” also lacks a clear main clause. Capitalisation after full stops and spacing around punctuation need attention. Practise building accurate complex sentences, and check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb before adding extra clauses.

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