Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely believed that children should learn different activities and skills in their free time by participating in organized plateforms and groups while, some argue that children should know themselves how to utilize their free time effectively.

However, I firmly believe that children should explore the plateforms such as organised group activities, that are readily available to master their skills.

One compelling reason for this stance is that most pf the children cannot dicide what is best for them and what is not. They cannot figure themselves about the excellence and specificity of skill. In addition to this, most organised group activities are always taking place under some specialist guidance. The mentors are trained for the actvities and they can guide them effectively.As we know in Japan, there are lot of institutes offer organised group activities for children, those students who master their skills in guidance, are more successful as compared to other children.

In addition to this, premature brains are at moe risk of indulging themselves in the bad activities and company. Those children, who try to learn how to occupy themselves on their own, have more tendency for drug and alcohal addiction.

On the contrary, other argues that those children, who learn how to occupy themseves on their own, are becoming great leaders. They know how to take tough dicision in their lives and are much better in risk taking as compared to those who are always in organised group activities. Those group task do not teach them confidence.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea of taking part in organised group activities because it allows them to learn teamwork and communication.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion, supporting organised activities because children can develop skills, teamwork and communication. You also present the opposing view that independent children may become better leaders and decision-makers, so both sides are addressed. However, the discussion is uneven: the benefits of organised activities receive several claims, while the case for independent pursuits is brief and not illustrated. Some support is also unclear or over-generalised, particularly the claim that children who occupy themselves alone are more prone to drug and alcohol addiction. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and limitations of each approach with specific, credible examples, and make the relationship between your reasons and your opinion more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, a paragraph beginning “On the contrary,” and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “In addition to this” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the point about children’s judgement moves quickly to specialist guidance and then to Japan without clearly explaining how the example supports the claim. Some transitions are mechanical or imprecise, and the opposing view is introduced late and developed only briefly. Organise each paragraph around one main idea, explain it before adding an example, and use clear references so readers can easily see which children or activities each sentence concerns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “specialist guidance,” “mentors,” “teamwork,” and “communication,” and you use some less common expressions such as “risk taking.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, for example “plateforms,” “dicision,” “actvities,” and “alcohal.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “figure themselves about the excellence and specificity of skill” and “premature brains.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and choose words that express the intended idea directly. Proofreading spelling and replacing unclear phrases with familiar, precise language would make your argument easier to understand and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including relative clauses (“activities, that are readily available”) and a contrast introduced by “On the contrary.” However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships unclear. For example, “most organised group activities are always taking place” has an awkward tense construction, while “there are lot of institutes offer” lacks a grammatical link between its clauses. There are also problems with agreement and sentence construction in “other argues” and “those students … are more successful.” Practise building accurate clauses with clear subjects and verbs, and check articles, agreement, and punctuation when joining ideas.

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