Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people believe that children should be encouraged by their parents to spend their spare time in doing group activities, whereas others say that children should be independent to learn how to utilize their time. I am agree with the later view point because it will boost their personality to make their own decisions later on.

Although parents play a great role in right upbringing of kids, a lot of interfere in their life to make a right decision can cause dependent personality. By motivating them all the time to utilize their free time in organized group activities, children will not use their own thinking and will never know what actually they want to do. For example, research has shown that personalities of people are decided in their childhood, how their parents treated them and how much independent they were in making their own decisions.

Children should be given space to make up their minds in choosing right and wrong. They should be all free to decide how they want to spend their free time because this can make them more creative. For instance, a child can be great in making drawings so it can be his hobby if he is free to choose what he is going to do. If parents indulge themselves to encourage this child to go outside and participate in group performance, his talent will mask. Therefore, it is necessary that children learn by themselves how they want to spend their free time.

In conclusion, although parents teach children about right and wrong, childreb should be indepen

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is identifiable: you favour children choosing how to spend their free time, and you give relevant reasons, including independence and creativity. The drawing example helps illustrate how self-directed time can develop a talent. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the response gives little consideration to the benefits of organised group activities, such as cooperation or social skills. The argument for independence is also repeated rather than fully extended, and the research claim is broad and unsupported. The conclusion is cut off after “childreb should be indepen,” so it does not complete the summary or reinforce your opinion. Develop both sides and finish with a complete conclusion to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and an attempted conclusion. Ideas within the body paragraphs generally relate to the central view, and examples follow the points they illustrate. Linking expressions such as “Although,” “For example,” “Therefore” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. However, progression is limited because both body paragraphs mainly repeat the case for independence, while the opposing view is not developed. Some connections are unclear, particularly the shift from parental involvement to the claim about personality being decided in childhood. The final sentence is incomplete, disrupting the ending. Organise the body around one paragraph for each view, then add a complete conclusion that clearly synthesises your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “independent,” “organized group activities,” “creative” and “talent,” which allows the main ideas to be understood. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “make up their minds.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “a lot of interfere,” “right upbringing,” “the later view point,” and “his talent will mask.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Spelling also needs attention, as in “childreb.” Aim for precise, natural combinations—for example, “too much interference,” “the latter view,” and “their talent may go unnoticed”—and check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concessive opening with “Although” and conditional structures such as “If parents indulge themselves…”. This shows some range, and the main argument is usually understandable. However, errors occur across sentence patterns and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “I am agree” instead of “I agree,” “children should be independent to learn” and “a child… so it can be his hobby,” where the grammatical relationships are unclear. The final sentence is incomplete, and the opening paragraph also contains a sentence fragment-like construction around “because it will boost…”. Practise accurate verb forms, pronoun reference and complete sentence construction, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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