Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a considerable debate regarding whether children should take part in organized group events or learn how to keep their own company during their leisure time. While some others argue that kids isolation fosters self-reliance. I am convinced, that it is necessary for children to participate in group related activities because it builds team playing spirit, .

On the one hand, those in support of children becoming isolated argue that, it builds a sense of independence. It is true that youngsters that learn to rely on their own strength, often do tasks that without relying on others. A child growing up, for example, can learn to manage complex situations on their own, such as doing assignments alone, handling difficult tasks at the office solely by themselves. Consequently, they become self-reliant.

On the other hand, I believe that team events can foster social bonding among kids. Due to their participation in sports with teammates, they are able to become better team players. In football, they understand that both defending and attacking is the responsibility of the whole team. Not only would it make them excel better group programs in schools, but it would also make them grow up with the knowledge of how to work with people efficiently. Ultimately, this could be more beneficial to them in future related team activities.

To conclude, while kids who learn to live by themselves can likely do without the influence of others, I am of the opinion that group activities are more beneficial. This can help increase their sense of team playing which is more useful in the modern era.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a consistent preference for organised group activities, so the response meets the main requirements of the task. The explanation of independence is relevant, and the football example makes the benefits of teamwork concrete. However, the first view is less fully developed: the example shifts from children doing assignments to handling tasks “at the office,” which is not clearly connected to children’s free time. The benefits of group activities are explained more clearly, but could be extended with a specific example of how children learn cooperation or communication. To strengthen the response further, develop both sides with equally relevant examples and explain more precisely why your preferred approach is more beneficial.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a conclusion that restates your position. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” helps readers follow the discussion. The progression is generally logical, and the football example supports the point about teamwork. Some connections are less smooth, however. The opening sentence of the first body paragraph moves from independence to an example about work, and “Consequently” does not fully resolve that mismatch. The conclusion also repeats the idea of team spirit without adding a final synthesis. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and vary or reduce formulaic transitions to make cohesion more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “self-reliance,” “independence,” “social bonding,” and “team players.” These choices show an attempt to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary, and the meaning is generally clear. Some word combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “team playing spirit,” “kids isolation,” and “excel better group programs.” “Children becoming isolated” also suggests social isolation rather than simply spending time alone, which slightly changes the intended meaning. Aim for more precise, natural collocations and avoid repeating “team” and “activities” where possible. For example, describe children as developing “teamwork” or “cooperative skills,” and refer to “independent play” rather than isolation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a conditional construction (“Not only would it…”) and a contrastive opening with “While.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems reduce accuracy. For example, “While some others argue that kids isolation fosters self-reliance” is an incomplete sentence, and “I am convinced, that” has an unnecessary comma. In “youngsters that learn to rely on their own strength, often do tasks,” the relative clause and comma are not handled correctly; “do tasks that without relying” is also structurally incomplete. Review sentence boundaries, relative clauses, and comma use, then check that each verb has a complete and grammatically connected clause.

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