Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believed that parents should expose their children to join an organization in their free time. However, I argue that it is merely beneficial for children to be alone to become an independent individual.

Firstly, an individual who spends much more time with other people in a group develops a strong sense of connection,cooperation and social awareness. For example, if a child is active in a youth organization, he/she would be knowlegeable in handling people with different backgrounds,attitudes and beliefs. As a result, one may enhance a strong human relations. I believe no man is an island so each of us should know how to get along with other peers. However, their is a significant downside for this. A person who is independent to other people will most likely be influenced with peer pressure. As a matter of fact, many teenagers nowadays uses drugs trying to fit in the group or trend.

Secondly, I strongly believe that independence is the key to personal development. If an individual is given opportunities to explore on their own, they will not seek validation from others. For instance, a person who grew up alone will tend to strive harder than people who are highly dependable. Hence, it is significantly beneficial. In contrast, becoming an overly independent can also be harmful. They are prone to invalidate other's advices because they feel they are capable of making own choices and is highly superior.

Overall, I strongly recommend that there should be a balance between being a social butterfly and being independent. A person should be capable on maintaing strong bonds and connection with other people at the same time develop a sense of responsibility and discipline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You discuss both organised group activities and independent time, and your final view—that children need a balance—gives the response a clear position. The first body paragraph explains social benefits such as cooperation and awareness of different backgrounds, while the second presents independence as supporting personal development. These are relevant points, and examples such as youth organisations and peer pressure help illustrate them. However, the discussion is uneven: the risks of peer pressure are developed more clearly than the benefits of organised activities, and the claim that a person who “grew up alone” will strive harder is broad and not well supported. To strengthen the response, explain how specific activities build skills and use a more precise example to support the independence argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs that address the contrasting views, and a conclusion that restates your balanced position. Sequencing expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “For example,” and “Overall” make the progression easy to follow. The contrast markers also help signal shifts in argument. At times, however, the links feel mechanical, and the reasoning within paragraphs is not always smoothly connected. For instance, the first paragraph moves from the benefits of group participation to peer pressure without clearly explaining how this drawback relates to the view being discussed. Some references, including “they” in the final body paragraph, are not fully clear. Use more explicit links between claims and examples, and check that each pronoun has an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “cooperation,” “social awareness,” “peer pressure,” “personal development,” and “responsibility.” These terms help communicate the main ideas, and phrases such as “no man is an island” show an attempt to use more expressive language. There are also several inaccurate or unnatural choices that reduce precision, such as “expose their children to join an organization,” “enhance a strong human relations,” and “independent to other people.” Spelling errors such as “knowlegeable” and “maintaining” also affect accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and precise word forms—for example, say children “take part in organised activities” and “build strong relationships.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional sentences (“If an individual is given opportunities…”) and clauses introduced by “However” and “because.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “he/she would be knowlegeable” (the modal construction should be followed by the base form, and the spelling issue is addressed under vocabulary), “many teenagers nowadays uses,” and “their is,” which show problems with agreement and verb forms. In “becoming an overly independent can also be harmful,” the sentence structure is incomplete, while “making own choices and is highly superior” has inconsistent agreement and missing grammatical elements. Review subject–verb agreement, articles and complete noun phrases, and proofread punctuation and spacing around commas.

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