Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are innocent and at an early age, it is an essential for parents and elders to look for their wellbeing. Some people say that they should be encouraged to participate in different group activities, whereas others argue that children should learn how to be occupied in leisure time. From my perspective, children need guidance and at an early age, they have not yet develop intellectual skills so motivation and support from elders would be very helpful. This essay will discuss both perspectives in detail.

To begin, there are several reasons why they should be encouraged to participating in activities. The first and foremost reason is that such activities help them develop their social skills such as communication, personal development and behaviour. These skills could lay a foundation for their bright future. Furthermore, young ones have not develop their intellectual skills. Therefore, such group activities may improve interpersonal and intellectual skills which helps them to develop competitive mindset.

Conversely, few peole suggest that children should learn by themselves. They also say that if they do, they would take decision independently in the future. However, in my experience, I have seen that kids who have received a gudence have shown significant growth than the ones without it. Additionally, leaving them on their own may put them in isolation and there are many examples in our society where children have not learn basic communication skills because they have never been motivated to do.

To sum up, apparently there are more benefits if they have involved in social activities. Rather than isolation, It allow them to build friendship at an early age. Group activities engage them to learn several skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a preference for adult guidance and group activities, so the response is relevant to the question. The discussion of group activities includes useful points about communication and social development, but these benefits are asserted rather than explained with specific examples. The opposing view is less fully explored: you mention independent decision-making, then mainly argue against leaving children alone, without explaining when or how solitary activities could help them. Your position is present, but it could be clearer and more consistent, especially in the conclusion, which repeats benefits without directly weighing the two approaches. Develop both sides more evenly and support each main claim with a concrete example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two perspectives, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To begin,” “Conversely,” and “To sum up” help readers follow the discussion. However, some connections are mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. For example, the paragraph on independent learning moves quickly from decision-making to your personal observation and then to isolation, without clearly linking these points. The conclusion also introduces friendship and repeats earlier claims rather than synthesising the comparison. Use clearer referencing and explain how each supporting point relates to the paragraph’s main idea to make the organisation more cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “social skills,” “interpersonal,” “competitive mindset,” and “isolation,” and the meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated general terms such as “skills,” “activities,” and “children,” while several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward. Examples include “look for their wellbeing,” “learn by themselves,” and “received a gudence”; spelling errors such as “peole” and “gudence” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling carefully. For instance, you could describe children as developing “self-reliance” through independent play, while group activities can foster “cooperation” and “teamwork.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “whereas,” “so,” and “because,” and most of the argument remains understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are noticeable. For example, “they have not yet develop” should use a past participle, and “activities … which helps” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The phrase “it is an essential” also has an incorrect article and structure, while “Rather than isolation, It allow them” contains a capitalization error and an incorrect verb form. Review these patterns and proofread each sentence for agreement and verb form. More accurate control of the complex sentences you already attempt would make your ideas easier to follow.

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