Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A particular amount of people argue that parents should play an active role encouraging their kids to a vital part in organized commited activities in weekends or holidays while other resists this opinion showing a point that a child must do this by its own and try to make the place from its own efforts which can be benefitical for their overall career and personal growth

Discussing about a childs personal and professional growth and its overall engaggement in taking parts in group activities i believe that parents must enocurage their childrens by themselves as an important duty of life because a young individual may not have enough understanding factors to determine its personal growth until he or she is in his adult life at mean time

However at its early phases of life when there child has been to his early stages and trying to understand the actual life he or she must get encouraged by the parents to take active part in extracurricular activities and managing both academics and socials with balance

although if a child has reached its adulthood and has its own understanding vision towards his goal he can do this by himself or herself becuase at this point their cognitive ability to take descions has been devloped and it depends on his choices whether he wanted to take part in social gatherings with others

My clear view is from its early growth i believe that kids from its time of kindergarten to highschool must be acknowledged by his both parents or atleast one even at his adult life because in some cases individuals suffer from emotional disability and social anxiety over introvertness which can be a reason of it not having active parts in gatherings it must be overviewed by its parents and must be monitored by both of them

I personally faced issues about anixety and senstivness overall of my teenage and early adult life which makes me think that i am not perfect and i have imperfect body watching social media stars and perfect humanoid bodies online makes me suffer from self guilt of not being perfect i felt isolated in my room with no interactions wihich effected my teenage life for a siginificant amount of time and costed me in terms of my growth

consquently i childs growth depends upon his parents care and overall attention towards him and how he is shaped by the habbits and encouragements this can lead him to overall career peak and all time growth from its early age indivduals must play crucial part in ecouragments of their child to take part in activites other than academics because sometimes a child may not be perfect in schools but can be way better than anyother in different aspects of world

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear preference for parental encouragement, especially during childhood. Your discussion that young children may lack the understanding to choose activities, while older children can make more independent decisions, is relevant to the question. The personal account of anxiety and isolation also gives a reason for your view and makes the response more individual. However, the case for children occupying themselves independently is only briefly considered, mainly through the point about adulthood and decision-making; explain more directly how solitary activities can build creativity or self-reliance. Some claims about parents’ responsibility and children’s future success are broad, so develop them with a specific example and clarify how organised activities help.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is an identifiable overall direction: you introduce the debate, discuss parental guidance at different ages, and conclude that parents should encourage participation. Paragraph breaks help separate some stages of the argument. However, progression is difficult to follow because several paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear internal structure, and the opening sentence is especially long. Connectors such as “However,” “although,” and “consquently” do not always show the relationship between ideas accurately, while repeated references to “growth” and parents’ role make the argument feel circular. Use one paragraph for each view, followed by a paragraph stating and supporting your opinion. Clear topic sentences and more precise referencing would make the links between claims and examples easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “extracurricular activities,” “cognitive ability,” “social anxiety,” and “personal growth.” These choices show an effort to discuss development and social participation beyond basic terms. However, the range is not consistently controlled: phrases such as “take a vital part,” “make the place from its own efforts,” and “overall career peak” are unclear or unnatural in context. Spelling errors, including “commited,” “benefitical,” and “consquently,” also distract the reader. Some wording is repeated, particularly “growth,” “overall,” and “parents.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use a more varied set of terms for independence, confidence, social skills, and development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “although” and “because,” and you try to compare children’s needs at different ages. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors in sentence boundaries and clause structure sometimes obscure the meaning. For example, the opening sentence runs several ideas together without clear punctuation, while “although if a child has reached its adulthood” combines linking structures awkwardly. There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, pronouns, and verb forms, as in “a childs personal,” “there child,” and “whether he wanted.” Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with accurate punctuation and consistent pronouns.

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