Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Engagament in multiple activities is equally beneficial as it is for educational learning whether it is in group or independently. Some people argue that organising group activities should be encouraged by parents for their children in their spare time. While others say that it is advantageous for children to learn how to occupy themselves independently.

Taking part in various group activities is vital for life-long skills such as leadership, confidence, team building, and emotional reselience to face failure. It provides a cheerful experience to children as they get to share different perspectives. Moreover, it also provide strength to be competitive and provides accountability in complex problem-solving.

Solidatry learning fosters a deep comprehension for cognitive thinking skills, emotional development and extremely vital for self-growth which can later be converted in future career development. Additionally children can occupy themselves in mindful activities such as monoply or other board games which could make their mind active.

In my opinion, Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce both perspectives: organised activities can build “leadership, confidence” and teamwork, while independent activities may support thinking and self-growth. However, the response addresses the task only partially. The final paragraph begins “In my opinion” but then repeats the instruction instead of stating your view, so your position is missing. The supporting points are also brief and largely asserted rather than explained with relevant examples. Most importantly, the response is 147 words, which is 103 words below the required minimum; the 25 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop each view with a clear reason and example, then give and support your own opinion in a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, one paragraph on group activities, and one on independent learning. This helps the reader identify the two sides, and transitions such as “Moreover” and “Additionally” signal further points. However, ideas within paragraphs are not developed into a clear sequence, and the response ends abruptly with an incomplete opinion paragraph that repeats task instructions. Some links are also unclear: “It provides a cheerful experience” does not specify precisely what “it” refers to, and the opening sentence does not clearly establish the essay’s direction. To improve progression, organise each body paragraph around one main claim, explain it, and add an example; finish with a distinct conclusion that states your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “leadership,” “emotional resilience,” “cognitive thinking skills,” and “problem-solving.” These choices show an effort to discuss benefits beyond simple enjoyment. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “Engagament,” “reselience,” “Solidatry,” and “monoply.” Some combinations are also unnatural or unclear, such as “strength to be competitive” and “Solidatry learning.” Choose familiar, accurate expressions where a more ambitious phrase is uncertain—for example, “independent activities” rather than “Solidatry learning.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations will make your ideas easier to understand and help you use your vocabulary more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some attempts at more complex structures, such as “While others say that it is advantageous for children to learn how to occupy themselves independently.” However, this “While” clause is a fragment because it is not joined to a main clause. There are also recurring agreement and sentence-control problems: “it also provide” should be “it also provides,” and the opening sentence is difficult to interpret because its clauses are not clearly connected. The final line, “In my opinion, Give reasons…,” is not a complete sentence and incorrectly incorporates the task instruction. Practise combining dependent clauses with main clauses, checking subject–verb agreement, and using complete sentences with appropriate punctuation.

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