Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
A few people claim that children should be encouraged by parents, placing them in some organised group activities in their leisure time, while others believe that children should decide how to spend free time on their own. This essay will discuss about this trend before stating my opinion and I strongly believe that parents are responsible for their children in planning their free time as they are too young to decide what is good for them.
On the one hand, most of the children spend their free time either by playing or watching Television. As they are too young they may not develop maturity to decide what is good for them and planning their free time. Therefore, parents can understand children and can join them in some activities such as Art, Dance, GYmnastics, Swimming etc. For instance, In United states of America, most of the parents join their kids in activities such as swimming, art after returning from school for 5 days a week.
On the other hand,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You state a clear opinion: parents should plan children’s free time because they are “too young to decide what is good for them,” and you begin to support this with examples of activities such as swimming and art. However, the response addresses only the first view. The opposing view—children learning to occupy themselves independently—is not discussed, and the essay ends just as the second body paragraph begins. The example about parents in the United States is also asserted rather than explained or connected to a specific benefit. The response is below the required 250 words, which leaves the task only minimally addressed. To improve, develop both perspectives, explain your reasons, and support your position with relevant examples before concluding.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The opening signals the topic and your position, and “On the one hand” introduces a body paragraph in a recognisable essay structure. These features give the reader some guidance. However, the response has no completed discussion of the other side, no conclusion, and the final transition, “On the other hand,” is left without any following ideas. As a result, there is no coherent progression through the full argument. Some linking is also awkward: “Therefore” introduces the suggestion that parents can enrol children, but the connection between the children’s limited maturity and the benefits of organised activities needs to be made more explicit. Plan a paragraph for each view, use clear links between claims and explanations, and finish by restating your position.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the basic subject, including “organised group activities,” “leisure time,” “maturity,” and examples such as “Swimming.” This shows some range beyond very basic wording. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural, including “discuss about this trend,” “join them in some activities,” and “planning their free time.” Capitalisation is inconsistent in “Television,” “GYmnastics,” and “In United states of America,” and the repeated use of “free time” limits variety. These issues do not prevent the main meaning from being understood, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Aim for accurate collocations such as “discuss both views,” “enrol them in activities,” and “organise their leisure time,” and check spelling and capitalisation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mixture of longer and shorter sentence forms, including a complex opening with “while” and a cause-and-effect sentence beginning “As they are too young.” The main ideas remain understandable. However, there are recurring grammatical problems in sentence construction and punctuation. For example, “This essay will discuss about this trend” uses an unnecessary preposition, while “As they are too young they may not develop maturity…” needs a comma after the introductory clause. The opening sentence is also awkwardly structured around “encouraged by parents, placing them,” and the extra space in “spend free time” affects presentation. Use simpler, controlled sentence patterns where needed, and check clause boundaries, articles, and punctuation when editing.
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