Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Human is a social being.The following statement illusrate that few people say that mother and father should associate their children to take part in organanised combined activities in their leisure time.On the other hand, few people say that it is crucial for children to know how to occupy themselves on their own.In my opinion both are important for growth of a children mind and self reliance skill.

In the first opinion many people point of view say that parents should encourage their children to spend more of their leisure time in group actibities.there are many reasons for this statemnt of among the numerous reason the primary one is it helps children to develops their teamwork ability and cooperation skill.For example,in many sports the main is team game if children learn how to work in team and how to cooperate with teammates it will be very easy for them to do well in many sports.Moreover,another reason is it helps to improve communication skills through the social life.As a example,it encourage children to talk or communicate with stranger and they donnot get nervours or anxious.Furthermore,it also helps children to make new friends in their social life.

On the other side,some people perspective is different because they think if children spend their free time to occupy themselves it helps them to build their self confidence and develops independence.For instance,if children growth with the skill opf self independence and they have their self confidence they can overcome any problems on their own as well as their parents can relay on them without any hesitations.Moreover,if children learn how to engage their own they can build their passion and their imagination and crerativity skill will enhanc more than a children who only relay on their parents.

In my view,both opionion holds their own importance.Childrens individual goals are the main point in the both opinions because taking part in group activities helps childen to grow their skill of communication with other peoples.On the other side,occupy themself on their own also develops children problem solving skills.Finally,it can be seen that,both opions are important for growing a self confident and socialised person

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear overall position: “both are important” for children’s development. The discussion of organised activities is supported with relevant points about teamwork, cooperation, communication and making friends; the independent-activity paragraph also identifies confidence, problem-solving and creativity. These points answer the question directly. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that children who learn independence can “overcome any problems” is broad, and the final paragraph largely repeats the two benefits instead of developing your own view of how the approaches should be balanced. To strengthen the response, explain when each kind of activity is valuable and give a specific example showing why children need both.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a concluding paragraph that restates your position. The reader can follow the main contrast, and signposts such as “On the other side” and “In my view” help identify shifts. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical because several sentences begin with “Moreover,” “For example,” or similar transitions, and some links do not clearly show how one point follows from another. The conclusion also repeats earlier claims rather than bringing them together into a final judgement. Use fewer formulaic connectors, make references explicit, and organise each body paragraph around a main idea followed by explanation and a specific example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “teamwork,” “cooperation,” “communication skills,” “self confidence,” and “creativity.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “self-reliance” and “socialised person.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “illusrate,” “organanised,” “actibities,” and “crerativity” are examples. Some phrases are also unnatural, including “occupy their own” and “the main is team game.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Building a reliable set of phrases for discussing independence, social development and organised activities would make your vocabulary more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if children learn how to work in team … it will be very easy for them” and clauses beginning with “because.” This gives the response some variety, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, plurals and punctuation occur in several places. For example, “it helps children to develops” has an incorrect verb form, while “both opionion holds” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The opening also joins sentences without a space after the full stop. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct singular or plural forms, and appropriate articles; then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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