Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some People that children in little age don't have the word to make their own. and in that the parents should get in to correct and encourage them to making the right things like studying or organising a group of activities in their free time .as we can see that our children were likly staying home even watching films, playing video games or scrolling in social media. And ofcours there is a disadvantages in that case .The child become more and more lonley .live under the virtual life.and forgot haw to face the real world .

But Others think that we should put faith in ours children and make them occupy themselves on their own .there 's a quots said "If you don't fails and get in you're own will not be able to stand"

if we keep organise the life for them they will not be able to do anthing with them self and that will also a big problem so giving them space to learn from their fault and mistakes create their own caracter and personnalite .And that will help them face the reality in strong way.

For me I think that both of that views are right and the some time wrong .If we close and decide to much at the child .will make him hate you .And you will not be able to hug his pain or enjoy his happiness in the future .And if leave him decide all his problem in his own. you will lost you're post as father and mother.and you will not be able to controle his action .But happily that a way between both of them were you can give to you're child a limited freedem .So you can let him do what he want but you keep him under you're eyes .also , the respect and faith in parents and child , make's him how further he go he alwayse find his way to you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views: the first paragraph argues that parents should guide children towards organised activities, while the second explains that independent time can help them learn from mistakes. Your own position is also present: you favour a balance, giving children “limited freedom” while keeping an eye on them. However, the discussion remains partly under-developed. For example, the possible benefits of group activities are not explained in detail, and the quotation in the second paragraph is unclear and does not provide a concrete example. The conclusion-like opinion paragraph also introduces concerns about parental control without fully connecting them to the two views. Develop each main point with a clear reason and a relevant example, and state your balanced position more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, so readers can identify the main stages of the discussion. Basic linking expressions such as “But,” “For me,” and “also” help signal shifts. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together without clear relationships. For instance, the first paragraph moves from parental guidance to screen use and loneliness, while the final paragraph shifts quickly between strict control, independence, and trust. Some references, such as “both of that views” and “that case,” are not sufficiently clear. Use topic sentences, organise each paragraph around one main point, and connect reasons and examples with more precise linking.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “organised group activities,” “virtual life,” “faith,” “freedom,” and “reality.” These choices show an effort to discuss children’s independence and social experiences. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the message difficult to understand, such as “lonley,” “caracter,” “personnalite,” and “controle.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “make them occupy themselves” and “lost your post as father and mother.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Learning topic phrases such as “develop social skills,” “make age-appropriate decisions,” and “parental guidance” would help you express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional ideas such as “If we keep organise the life for them…” and “if leave him decide…”. However, these complex attempts are often faulty, and errors occur throughout the response. Examples include “Some People that children…” (an incomplete sentence), “the child become” (subject–verb agreement), and “if leave him decide” (missing subject and incorrect verb pattern). Articles, pronouns, and sentence boundaries are also frequently inaccurate, as in “both of that views” and the run-on sequence beginning “So you can let him do what he want.” These problems sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Practise complete sentence patterns, agreement, and conditional structures, then proofread punctuation and verb forms.

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