Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children who prefers to partcipate in communal activites and structured social gatherings are supported by many parents in the society. While other parents prefer them to spend their own time, so they can use this time for their self development and improve their grades. Both ways have their own benefits such as social activites gives you opportunities to perform in front of the large audience, which ultimately boast your skills and confidence. While, personal time help us to work on our weaknesses.

Children are often afraid to get part in pre-planned group activities. By regularly involving in group discussions give them chance to get out of this fear and increase the moral. For example, participating in the schools societies provides chances to express their thoughts and get invloved in the conversations with new people. Regular interaction with various people in a day will increase your communication skills. Verbal proficiency helps you to communicate easily and clearly in every field of life.

The time we consumed alone help us in our self-development. That allows us to find a way to get us involved in our personal grooming. For example, A school children needs one to two hours for their personal time, so, they can revise their daily lectures and can complete their homework, which will improve their abilities to learn and keep things remembered. This strategy will have a direct influence on their grades, thats why some parents prefer their children to spend and consume time on their own.

In conclusion, parents should encourage their children to get involved in organised group activites and to spend their personal time equally. This will increase communication skills and personal development which will be benefiting students in their daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear position in the conclusion: children should have time for organised activities and independent pursuits. The discussion is relevant, with examples such as school societies and using personal time to revise lessons. This meets the task overall, but the two sides are not developed equally: the benefits of group activities are explained through communication and confidence, while independent time is mainly linked to homework and grades. Some claims, such as group activities helping children overcome fear, would be stronger with a clearer explanation or a specific example. To develop the response further, explain how children can balance these activities and why both forms of free time matter beyond academic performance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion that restates your position. The progression from social benefits to personal development is easy to follow, and examples generally appear in the relevant paragraphs. This shows coherent organisation, with some effective linking through phrases such as “For example” and “In conclusion.” However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical or unclear. The opening “While other parents prefer them to spend their own time” is not a complete sentence, and “While, personal time…” repeats the same contrast awkwardly. Some references, such as “That allows us,” have an unclear antecedent. Use complete topic sentences and vary linking methods while making pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self-development,” “communication skills,” “verbal proficiency,” and “personal grooming.” These choices show an attempt to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision and sometimes make the phrasing unnatural: “partcipate,” “activites,” “boast your skills,” and “increase the moral.” Phrases such as “consume time on their own” and “get us involved in our personal grooming” are also not natural in this context. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions would help you communicate the same ideas clearly without relying on repeated general terms such as “time,” “skills,” and “improve.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which” and examples introduced by “so.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “Children who prefers” has subject–verb disagreement, while “personal time help us” also needs agreement. The opening sentence beginning “While other parents…” is a fragment, and “By regularly involving in group discussions give them chance” has an incomplete and incorrectly formed structure. Articles and sentence punctuation also need attention, as in “in front of the large audience.” Practise building complete sentences around one main clause, then check agreement, articles, and punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts clearer.

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