Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that children should be encouraged to take part in organised group activities by the parents while others are in the favour that children should occupy themselves on their own. This essay wil discuss both the views and give my opinion. As far as I am concerned, I am in the favour of the former view because it helps the child to be active and organised.

To commence with the former view, the first and foremost point is that people who believe parents should encourage their children in taking part in group activities in their free time is that it helps to build the horizon of the child. To explicate it, by performing group tasks youngsters not only learn to work in group but also build trust in themselves. Adding to it, in this sedentry lifestyle, children spend long hours on screens which can only be restricted if children are taught to do some social acitivities together which will make them active and organised. If children, therefore, are not taught to work in group, they will be selfish and can never help and understand others as they had no experience to work with others.

On the other hand, those who are in favour of the latter view hold a view that children should be taught to occupy on their own. To explain it, children can learn to be independent and work on their own in future. For instance, if young children are not made to work themselves, they will develop a habit of working with others regardless of any reason. Moreover, youngsters start imitating others quickly even though if someone is doing something work which can only be avoided by making them work alone. In addition to it, due to groupism children gets involved in unlawful activities which is the downside of working in groups. Hence, young people should be asked to work solitary instead of working with others.

To recapitulate, although working in groups creates dependency, yet it offers variety of benefits such as learning to work in teams and build confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state your position clearly in the introduction: you favour organised group activities because they help children become active and organised. The discussion includes relevant points about teamwork, confidence, independence and possible risks in groups. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The benefits of group activities are explained with several linked claims, while the case for independent activities relies mainly on independence and avoiding negative peer influence; the example about children developing a habit of working with others is unclear. The conclusion also returns to the benefits of teamwork but does not clearly resolve the contrast or restate your preference. Develop each main reason with a specific, plausible example and make your final position explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the other hand” and “To recapitulate” helps readers follow the discussion. Within paragraphs, however, some connections feel mechanical or do not express the intended relationship clearly. For example, “If children, therefore, are not taught to work in group, they will be selfish” makes a broad conclusion from the preceding point, while the sequence about independence and imitating others is difficult to follow. The conclusion also introduces “dependency” without explaining how it relates to your stated preference. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence’s link to the paragraph’s main idea explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “independent,” “confidence,” “sedentary lifestyle” and “unlawful activities,” and the general meaning is usually clear. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “build the horizon of the child,” “in the favour,” “work in group” and “work solitary” do not express the ideas naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “sedentry” and “acitivities,” and “groupism” is not an appropriate term in this context. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate phrasing; for example, use “broaden children’s horizons” and “take part in group activities.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional clauses such as “If children… are not taught…” and a concession in the conclusion beginning “although.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “children gets involved,” the missing article or plural in “work in group,” and the awkward construction “even though if someone is doing something work.” The opening sentence also has an unclear structure around “people who believe… is that.” Review agreement, articles and plural forms, and avoid combining “even though” with “if.” Breaking the most complicated sentences into clearer clauses will help you retain variety while improving accuracy.

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