Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Individuals believe that parents should motivate their children to participate in organised group activities in their leisure time. In contrary, other people believe that it is important for children to learn how to involve themsleves in these kind of events. In this essay, I would like share both views and give my opinion.

Parents who encourage their children to take part in planned team activities in their free time have acheived growth in future. Adding to this, childrens develop both cognitive and cooperative skills in very young age. Futhermore, this idea can also help the young ones to find their interest in particular programme in which they want to master. For instance, a specific event consists of variety of activities like drawing and painting, then the children who are interested in this, can show their talent.

However, some individuals believe in children to independently participate in these kind of group activities by their own. Besides this, young ones who choose to go in programes by themselves build strong confidence level and have a habibit of doing things alone. Additionally, pupils who are not social active get inspiration from the children who stand out in these type of activities.

In conclusion, I would share my opinion on both discussed views and believe

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You introduce both views and give relevant points, such as group activities helping children develop cooperative skills and independent participation building confidence. However, these ideas are only briefly explained, and the response does not clearly state your own opinion: the conclusion stops at “believe” and is unfinished. The example about drawing and painting is relevant but needs fuller explanation to show how organised activities benefit children. The response also contains 201 words, which is 49 words below the required minimum; this limits the opportunity to develop the discussion and address every part of the task. To improve, complete the conclusion with a clear position and add specific explanations or examples for both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and an attempted conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “However,” and “Additionally” help signal relationships between points. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and some links are unclear or mechanical. For example, “Besides this” does not clearly show how the next point relates to independent participation, while “In conclusion” introduces a sentence that is left unfinished. The reference to “these kind of group activities” also makes it unclear whether the paragraph is discussing organised group activities or children choosing activities independently. Develop each paragraph around a clear main idea, connect supporting details explicitly, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “organised group activities,” “cooperative skills,” “confidence,” and “talent,” which makes the subject clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “participate” and “independently.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “In contrary,” “achieved growth in future,” and “strong confidence level.” Spelling errors such as “acheived,” “Futhermore,” “programes,” and “habibit” are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for natural combinations of words and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for the activities and benefits would also help you express your ideas clearly without relying on repeated general phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “the children who are interested in this, can show their talent” and a conditional structure beginning “then.” However, errors occur frequently and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “I would like share” instead of “I would like to share,” “children develop” rather than “childrens develop,” and “believe in children to independently participate,” which has an incorrect grammatical pattern. The final sentence is incomplete, leaving the reader without a finished main clause. Practise accurate verb patterns, articles, plurals, and sentence completion. After drafting, check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb and that clauses are joined correctly.

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